I'm off to Vancouver tomorrow morning, and I'm putting off packing... heh... hm.

An interesting evening, I guess. I dunno. I went over to Dave's ( not coffee dave...) and then we went over to Tony's where I saw some people I went to high school with, who don't really know me... but probably recognized me and were all wtf... but whatever. I petted the cat for like 20 minutes, while tony and dave played in the groove, which note to self, might be fun... but frustrating. It's like dance dance revolution. But better. And you use your fingers cuz it was on the computer. :P

Um. Then we went back to Dave's, and Lacey was there... she's cool. I like her. I only met her once before... I don't think she's even 19 yet. Gawd. Her bday's probably coming up sometime though. I should hope. Hm. Anyway. So yeah. Then I sat there watching tv for like an hour and a half, til I decided I could be packing and left. :P

Still haven't exactly started packing yet. Meh. Oh. I said that at the beginning. I had the tiniest bit to drink at Dave's. I'm talking like two sips of nasty stuff. Beh.

Apparently I only really need clothes for two days. Ha. Oh, the train. I'll smell so pretty. :P I need a shower. I'm so effing greasy. Ick. Sigh. My head hurts. Too much candy. :P And no, I didn't go trick-or-treating.

Anyway... talk to you Sunday! Byeeee. Unless the hotel has internet access, which it will. So yeah. Probably sooner than that. Ha. Bye.

Kevin emailed me back.

And I was like oh. Okay. Hmm. I dunno. I sent him like two messages last night, cuz I was so bored. :P And yeah.

He's proably wondering why I'm all of a sudden emailing him so much again. Probably wonders what I've been up to. Actually, he probably doesn't. But yeah.

I told him he was way too nice. And he answered that with "apparently in high school people thought I was being, like... unnaturally nice... I didn't find this out until a little while ago... I thought that I was just helping people... argh. Ah, well, such is life. And I like giving presents!" Cuz I told him he didn't have to buy me a present for my birthday. A shirt from thinkgeek. I think I posted about this a while ago. But yeah. But I also said that if he wants to get it for me, I wasn't gonna do much to stop him. :P

I feel so bad that he spends money on me though. I did buy him a book for his birthday though... er... well... I actually don't know when his birthday is... he's never told me... but uh... I know he's an aries... :P so april-ish.

But yeah. Today, at school, I just kept going onto hotmail seeing if he sent one back. :P I'm a big loser. Oh well.

I like the idea of having someone, but I don't think I actually... want someone. I dunno. I don't want someone who clings onto me. Didn't I already say this? I'm just repeating myself now. Blah.

I'm going to see 'Who Killed the Electric Car' tonight. Taking Mandy and Ian with me... cuz last night Mandy was like so what are you doing tomorrow, and I was like I'm probably gonna go see a movie at the broadway... and she was like oh, which one, so I told her, and she was like ooo, can i come? And I wa slike k. And she was like k, i'll bring ian too.

Because surprisingly, he didn't hang out with us last night, which was kind of nice. I think Mandy missed hanging out with just me. Heh. Maybe... meh.

lmao. I was just sitting here, opened this up and i was gonna write about how sad I was... and then Kevin signs in to msn and I'm all eeee. Why? I don't know. I'm lonely, I guess.

Haha.

Yeah... plus I was being creepy this evening, all by myself driving around after I dropped off the due back movie. Hm. Yeah. You don't wanna know where I went. :P I think you might be able to take a guess... maybe not. Maybe you shouldn't. I was just being... dumb. And really way too creepy.

I just don't get why EVERYONE seems to have someone right now. It's weird. And I'm feelin really ... I dunno. I want that. I guess. Sort of.

I want someone I can cling to... not someone who will cling to me, however. :P

Which is why I like the boy who ignores me most of the time... or... at least doesn't email back. Hmm. Just shoot me. :P

Yep. And now I'm entertained cuz he's talkin' to me. About his ninja roommate which I'm finding quite amusing, actually. I think it'd be pretty neat to have a stealth-ish roomie. :P But I like my space. So maybe that would be the best ninja... I mean roommate haha... that totally wasn't a planned mistake. Cuz they're like... invisible. Whoa. Dude. Yep. Entertained and good. Good, good.

Oh. Man. Ouch... except not really. :P

I was ya know, roamin' the internet, stalking things... and apparently... collin's profile now reads, sorry girls! taken... as of oct. 25, 2006.

Hm. Guess she must be special if he posts it like that. Or she's just crazy... whatever. At least now we know he's over me. Ha. Or maybe he's not. Maybe he's in absolute denial. Oh well. I really wanna just block and delete him... but meh. I should. Why do I need him on my list? Why? I have no ties with him any longer... hm. Katy, katy, katy. You're too nice. That's it. You hate his guts, yes, we know, but you can't just delete someone for not liking you... or can you? Hmm. Haha. Really. While I'm not exactly thrilled by this, because i mean we said we were going out like... I dunno how many different times, but he still logged on and never chaned his headline thing. But whatever. It was all a very sad joke when I went out with him. I was bored. And we barely went out. God, he's such a moron. I hope he found someone just like him. So they can go be weird and creepy and clingy together. Blah. :P

But really, I find this all just too hilarious. Haha.

Obviously she hasn't realized just how creepy and ... creeeeepy he is. And weird. And fucking annoying. Christ. I'm so jealous. :P Haha. Not of her, god no. But... of that I suppose. Perhaps next time I speak to Kevin I should just tell him I love him? No, that's the wrong approach, because I don't know if it's true. Haha. Oh man. Big losah ova here. Oh well. I will find someone one day. Maybe. Unless everyone annoys me like that... hm. Please remind me what a crazy ass collin is. please. :P Haha.



omg, omg! And! He changed his online name to... lmao! he's really in love... shit man, this is waaaaayyy too funny... "you_snooze_you_lose". What a douche, hey? Haha. Excuse me while I go ponder how this idiot can get a girlfriend, but I... the awesome Katy, cannot get a boyfriend. Oh well. The time will come... the time will come. I just need to move out, and then I'll have no fear. Hit on whoever. :P Mom's been crampin' my style... haha. And what was it, not 4 days ago he was sniffin' around my profile. The boy is a gatdang freakin hell moron. Who gets attached to people waaaaaay too fast. Yep. It's true. Ugh. No, I can't just let it go... it's too ridiculous. :P

Kevbo... ha... and some links to pics and religion...?

:D... no that's too big of a smile... let's tone it down a little... :)... better, I guess. Still a little too happy, but it'll do.

Apparently, Kevin is not dead. Yay, I guess. Heh. :P Who'm I kidding? I'm glad. Cuz he's "supposed" to buy me a shirt... but like... not that I'm holding him to that or anything... or expecting it anytime soon if he did get it...

Anyway... he likes cats, I take it. Hehe. All these pictures are pretty funny, if you're bored and like pictures of cats in hilarious poses with hilarious captions... http://www.vadriven.com/forums/showthread.php?t=157745 and http://img.7chan.org/dog/res/114.html

Yeah.
I dunno. :P I think I do like people a lot more if they ignore me... heh. Which is unfortunate. But oh well. Not that I like him or anything. I mean I do... but not that much.

Ummmm. Oh. I have... 3 days left of official school... eep. But then I have til the 31st to finish my project. So... I should be okay... I hope.

Oh man. I think I may have offended one girl in my class today, not on purpose... but I was trying to fix up my one drawing of jesus and me eatin ketchup buns... but I don't think she read it exactly cuz I had zoomed up on it quite a bit, and she was like... did you do that katy? And I was like yeah... and she shook her head... and looked kinda mad. I felt so bad, so I closed it. And now I know that was not cool. Like, I don't have anything against religion, I do believe somewhat in God... but... I've never been to church or anything... went to bible camp once. That was... interesting... but yeah. I mean. I don't know. I guess I'm sort of insensitive when it comes to religious matters. Hmm. I'll be more conscious of that in the future, that's for sure. But like... no one in my class is very upfront about their beliefs... well... okay, that's not true. Maybe I'm just ignorant. that's not cool... I have to go to bed.

OH! I finished my lightwave project, and it's totally cool... at least... when you don't have the volume too high up. then it just sounds dumb. But.. yeah. I totally swanked it up, cuz it was the second last project. :P And I need something different-ish for my portfolio. And like... I had to prove to myself I could design something with the logo in the bottom left as opposed to the top left... yeah. I dunno.

Ah, the infamous cube ball.

Haha. I just uploaded some drawings to my other blog, which I haven't done in months. Meh. But I read the post where I put up my userpic. Ha. Oh man. Best. Post. Ever. :P "the boy I'm apparently smitten with..." hahaha. Yeah. It's still almost not really true. But oh goodness... so young and naive. :P Hilarious. Anyway. that's about it. Oh no, I have to record sounds. Shit. I totally suck. Dude. This damn lightwave... it's super pissing me off, cuz everyone else's is better than mine. Bah. Okay, katy. Stop listening to Our lady peace, and record something rolling! right now! Gah!

I'm siiiicccckkkk...

And today was the day I discover he's not over me. Hm.

This morning when I came online, he immediately started talking to me. I told him I was getting sick yesterday when he came over unannounced. Yes. Well. So blah blah, he went on about how he was at the odeon last night, and in my head I'm all you are such a liar... :P but maybe he did go. I don't really care.

Anyway... and then I log into that site later in the day, and... voila. he was spying on me again.. ha. I had a very good laugh about it, because it's almost sort of sweet if not annoying. But I really don't like him, but I'm just that bored, if he asked me out again I'd probably go. But I wouldn't. I'd be like katy... that's really... enough. You don't even like him. And he's an idiot. But really, the boy must be desperate. Sad...

Just like I am for kevin to talk to me again. Heh. It's very sad. I know I should just like.. stop being so obsessed, but like... I dunno. He's awesome on msn. And I missed it. :P That's all... but whatever... i guess.

I stayed in my pajamas all day I'm that sick. :P Or just lazy. meh. Whatevah. I got caught up on all the stuff I've taped over the last two weeks :P. Had a hot bath, it was kind of too hot though. Meh. Stupid water. Um. But he's not talking to me anymore... I think it might just be a daily checkup on me. Ha. Maybe... bah. I think I'm going to go to bed, I have nothing else to accomplish today. g'night.

I didn't mean to call him a dick face before. :P

When I saw him he was like so what are you doing tonight... or maybe I asked... meh... either way, he said he wasn't doing anything... and I was like why not? It's friday... should go ouuuuttttt-ah. :P And he was like heh... I don't have anyone to... go with me. And I was like oh, that sucks. Yeah, I'm hanging out with a couple friends tonight that I haven't seen in a while.

Anyway fast forward... his msn name is now "gone to the odeon". Is it creepy that I'm curious who he went with? If he actually is gone? If he's really sitting there, waiting for someone to talk to him? :P And why he doesn't look at my profile anymore? Hahaha. Oh man. He's over me. Dang. :P It's all for the better though. Obviously. He's far too emotionally unstable for me. I mean... I need someone stable, because I am so far from that, it's not even funny. :P And he's gross. ha.

But yes. Poems gone now... no need to ever speak of him again. Unless he gets the urge to confess his love for me again. Man, that was actually kind of sad... anyway, bye.

No, wait, I'm not done. I'm worried about my friend Wesley... he's really depressed lately, and like... it's probably not that easy being a gay man not doing that well in school... and... not having the boy you like like you back. Actually that shit's hard for everyone, but we all go through it.. except the being gay part. What am I trying to say?... I dunno. I told him he might want to consider going to see someone about everything. Like Mandy used to suggest to me. I hated that. Hm. Go figure.

Oh, right. I woke up sick this morning, did I mention that already? Grrrrr. Sleep.. need sleep. But south park... must watch... 'new' episode... ahh. only 6 more minutes. heh.

I sent kevin another email... I do that when I'm bored. And I've gone into like withdrawal or something. Ha. Seriously though, he was on msn monday tuesday wednesday... and then he just wasn't online anymore. And I was all pshaw. I think he got sick of me. Sigh. Or maybe he was starting to like me too much? No, that's unlikely. Whatever. Must go now. Can't breathe... sigh.

Hey there. Dick face just stopped by to pick up his poems, and i was all cuddled in my blanket, when he rang the doorbell. I look outside and see his stupid ass purple car. :P I'm being way too mean. It wasn't that bad, I mean. Just gave him his poems. Apparently he wanted to chat a bit... ugh... but yeah. I didn't hug him though. Not that there was any resistance not to... ha. But yeah. Now I don't know what to do. Because he still seems sort of nice, but I really don't have much to talk about with him... cuz he's stupid... so I don't know if I'll delete him. I would however like to be the first to delete t'other. But... like... I'll feel bad. It's better when it's out of revenge... at least I keep telling myself that.

I lost 20 bucks today. In the parking lot I think. I reached in my pocket for 4 bucks, and I guess my bill fell out. Damn not having a wallet/purse. I'm not a big fan of purses though.

I did however, manage to finish my animation today. Although I need to talk to brother, see what he thinks, because you know he's like my idol. Or something odd like that. Wonder years is on. Ah.

Deary me...

Good god, it's started again. The Chinese people. They're adding me again... to msn. Bah.

While I'm typing, I might say that psycho c signed in, I have him blocked however, and his name was and I quote "NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" in caps like that. ridiculous. He's nice, sure, but crazy. So whatever.

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions, as far as the eye can see. I heart the ultimate showdown. google it if you're curious. It's pretty hilarious.

Monday routine, and missin out...

I just read Jaimie's post and how she's finally over the prof. Aw.

and it got me to thinkin... I really effed up with Dave. Remember dave? I remember dave. Obviously not well enough... heh. But he was pretty damn awesome, even if boring at times. Everyone is. But why did I have to be such a psycho? Like, damn. So... I dunno. Haha. Oh, goodness. I missed out on something awesome, I'm sure. but whatever. I'm not that old yet, someone will come along. Plus dating is awkward but... so is becoming a crazy cat lady. Wait. I didn't wanna say that. Damn you TLC. But it is awkward, and I'm very awkward while not dating anyway. Does that even make sense? Man. It snowed. The roads are icy. And people are stupid. And have to relearn how to drive on the snow and everything. Oh well. I was the only one on time for school, if not a couple minutes late, but it didn't matter anyway, the door was still locked. My teacher didn't even show up today. Of course.

I can't tell if Kevin likes me. I do like him... I just. I dunno. I really don't know. Whatever... I should really seriously start looking for a job. I want to apply at beagle productions (cuz it's close to my house sort of...), but... they wanna see a portfolio... sigh. So I need to get started on that, yo. Ooo, I should google that and find stuff to inspire me. Today I basically finished my lightwave, I just need to add a background... and... ground. :P Preferably hardwood floors... or tile. Dunno what kind. hmm. Haha. Dude. I'm almost done school. And then it's to Vancouver for 2 days! Woo! Vaca! Hehe. With my Mom! OH YEAH! :P it'll be fun though. I've never been there. But yes. A couple people in my class are looking for jobs already... well... they printed off resumes... so I feel like a slacker not looking. Meh?

I thought I would share my afternoon routine, just because I never have. Haha. Or... my mondays. So much tv *drool* :p. Anyway. Get home from school... at around 20 to 3... or 3, depends if I walked to school or not. Which I never really do, so it's usually 240. Ha. Then go on the computer if there's time. At 3, I watch the Daily Show repeat of the night before. Good stuff. Then at 330, I watch King of Queens, because it's AWESOME. And hilarious. At 4, I watch 90210. Woot. Haha. Except today, I missed the last half hour, cuz I was talking to kevin on msn... he was bored at work, and i find him somewhat entertaining, because he gives me links to crazy things. At 5... um... sometimes I watch Ellen, cuz it's on the same channel as 90210. Or I go back on the computer. At 530, I HAVE to watch The Wonder Years, on the same channel as the other two shows... so it's like 2 full hours of tvtropolis. Hahaha. Woo. At six... How I met Your mother is on. Mmmm. 630, I go back on the computer, because The Class sucks ass. Seriously. I gave it a chance... sort of. It's just not good. At all. AT. ALL. Then at 7... in five minutes... Two and a Half Men is on. i heart that show too. Then that's about it. Unless I decide to watch The new Adventures of Old Christine after that, which sometimes I do, cuz it had Scott Bakula on last week... or the week before... whatever... it was awesome. He's awesome. I LOVE QUANTUM LEAP! I'M A DORK! Yes. Okay. That's it. And after all that, I'll come back on the computer. bahaha. What a sad, sad life I lead. Oh well. Bye.

A rant about K to the evin

:P So I emailed Kevin cuz I felt I needed love... haha. Or someone who I think must like me at least somewhat. I told him about my car... it was a very short message. He wished me a happy belated birthday and said that he was getting me a present... another shirt from thinkgeek. I'm actually wearing one that he got me right now. :P I thought it was hilarious. I picked it out.. and he was like okay! And then it finally came in april. Haha. Geez. He got me two actually... that one and this one.

He's way too nice. Especially when like... I dunno. I've never ignored him though. I was just... gettin' out there I guess. Meh? I'll probably end up marrying him... just cuz he sort of fascinates me. But who knows. I don't love him yet, but I do like him. I just don't know if it's in that way. Haha. But my point is: He's way too nice to me. He's better with words than what's his face. He's taller. He makes me feel tiny, which I sort of like... haha. But... is also kinda weird, but meh.

Why is he so nice? Well... I might be the first girl who's shown any kind of interest in him... maybe. I dunno. He was the first guy for me. But my beef is that he wears socks with sandals. And... I dunno. I suppose his appearance is what makes me a little... ehh.. but I'm honestly trying not to be a shallow bitch, cuz he has an awesome personality. Biggest geek ever, and I love it. He makes me feel good...I guess. And he loves all these crazy sci-fi shows and got me started on firefly, so I love him for that. :P He loves movies as much as I do, but doesn't feel the need to explain them or look deeper. Just enjoys them. Ugh. I should reallly just shut up and ask him to marry me already. :P I remember I was so gonna do that one day just cuz. I wonder what he would say. I don't even know for sure if he likes me even. I mean more than a friend. I really don't. I remember mandy said I should ask him and I was like pshaw yeah right. I hope he doesn't think I've taken advantage of him. I did buy him a book for his bday. One that he had lost he said. So.. see, I listen. I know lots of things about my friends. Or... the people I care about.

I'm doing it again. I like him again cuz he sent me a nice message. But when I see him I'm going to remember why I started looking for someone else. Sigh. Which is hard. And I wanna give up. I don't know if I actually mean this or not, but I just wanna get laid. :P I do care by who... I wouldn't mind if it was him. haha. Oh shut up, katy. Gawd. But also... kevin has never stalked me. that I know of. However, I have sort of stalked him. Hahaha. I am such a loser. It wasn't serious stalkage though. It was just looking at his new house... a couple times... and then dropping that damn game in his mailbox. :P I shoulda rang the doorbell except I was too freaked out. Haha. Bah... /rant.

So. It's 232. Collin was supposed to pick his notebook up at 2? I believe? He's online. I'm not saying anything cuz I don't wanna see him. :P I guess he forgot. Whatever. Does this mean I can burn them now? Hocus Pocus is on, I gotta go watch it. :P





Update. I just talked to him on msn and he's like oh. I forgot...

Fuck you. You just want to prolong this as long as possible for your own sick sad amusement. Whatever. I want to talk to Kevin. I want him to love me. :P Haha.

So the party was last night. I had sooo much fun. I did. Heh.

But before we went... mandy and Ian came over at like 5... and then we sat for a bit cuz I didn't wanna get up... then Ian decided that his contacts were bugging him too much so we went and got his glasses from mandy's house. He's apparently living there now. When this happened, I'm not sure... but whatever.

Anyway... we had supper at this not too expensive restaurant... lots of food. I couldn't finish what I had ordered (lasagna) because one, it was insanely greasy... cuz of the cheese and whatever, and two I had filleld up on delicious garlic bread and delicious salad. That was good salad. Haha. We're so dumb, we ate our salads out of the big bowls, instead of dishing it onto the plates they gave us. Yep. But whatever. We did it our way. then we came back to my house, and made pornstars with the alcohol wes gave me... and then like... I dunno... forty minutes later I was throwing up. Cuz I also had a headache, and drank them too fast... but anyway. So yeah. That was like right before we left. Haha. And I went back upstairs, and they were like where were you? And I was like... downstairs puking. Oh. Yeah...

So we got to the party, and Brin greeted me and lead me to where everyone in my class was sitting. And Brandi was all KATY! Haha... I dunno why. meh. She's really nice. And then I proceded to drink a western... which is the grossest beer ever. Seriously. The first couple swigs are okay... but then it just tastes like ear wax. Yeah. Heineken doesn't do that. Or at least when you're drunk it doesn't taste lik eit does that? What am I saying? I dunno. Anyway. So yeah. Then over time I drank three vodka specials with some sort of lime thing in it? I dunno. Ian wasn't feeling very well, so he wasn't that much fun there, but meh. It was cuz of the sour puss we drank at my house. Anyway, Brandi kept saying that we were gonna dance one song... ha. So I was like okay... and then they pulled the hood of my sweater and I was like what's goin' on?... and yeah. Brandi and Brin were like c'mon! And we were trying to pick a song, I couldn't think of anything, so I went to drink more of my drink. And then I got back, and they were like we picked a song! A song for you!... and me, and Brandi..... right. :P It was like a virgin. I was like whateva. Good song. and then I realized I can't dance. And I think people were watching. And probably laughing. But I didn't leave. I stayed until the end of the song, sort of dancing. Yeah. I don't want to do that again. I should have really let loose all my crazy moves, but... I resisted. I did not flirt with Pete. Cuz he had a bunch of his friends there. Ha. Yeah, I don't really remember everything I said... but... I... dunno. Haha. It was a good night. Then marcy came and picked us up at like 1140 or something, I didn't really wanna leave, cuz I was having a lot of fun... and wanted another drink. :S But they wouldn't let me. So I said goodbye to Chad and other Ian (ian in my class) and he was like you're leaving? And I was like yeah. And he's like why? And I'm like cuz my ride is here... haha. I remember that. Not that it's really noteworthy. But whatever.

Oh. I don't think I wrote that the other night when my car got stomped on, I told it to Collin, and I was all pissed off, so I was like do you want your poems back or not? I'm pretty sure I emailed you right after you deleted me from msn, and asked you this but you never answered. And he was like yeah, I'll pick them up. And I was like ugh... in my head.. and then I said when? And he was like I'm in the city on Saturday. ..like what time? what time is good? I dunno. not the morning. 2? i dunno.
2 is fine. fine. And then we sorta kept talking about my car, and I kept saying that it was my birthday, cuz he still had not wished me a happy one. And then at the end of the conversation he was like... well... happy 20th birthday katy. have a good night. And then emoticoned me a hug and present and cake. And I was like cya. No emoticons for you.

And now today I'm trying to look as unappealing as possible. Which isn't really that hard... ha... but... yeah. Um. I really don't want him over. Cuz I almost don't want to delete him. But I have to. Because he's... annoying. In a way that he still for some reason sometimes occupies my mind. I had forgotten about him until he readded me to msn. I really had. And really, I don't want to be his friend. I don't want to listen to him whine. I really don't care.

this morning I was wandering around my house at 5. Haha. Still kinda drunk. Went to bed at 130 though. And then I slept til like 1130. So yay. Lots of sleep. I wanna do it all again tonight. Haha.

But that sort of made me wonder. I mean. Do Brin and Brandi really think that I'm a virgin? Should it matter? It doesn't bother me most of the time. Maybe they think I'm a lesbian... haha. I think I'm still a little drunk, but have okay typiung ability. :P I should have posted all this last night when I had an excuse. Meh. But whatever. I'll pretend I don't remember any of it when we discuss it all on Monday. :P Or pretend I didn't mind. Cuz I didn't. I was just. And it was funny, cuz brin came really close to grinding up against me. Ha. And I was like whoa there... :P but anyway. I did have fun. Maybe they won't remember. Oh, that'd be great. Haha. Oh but when marcy came and picked us up, Ian wanted mcdonalds, so we went and picked up marcy's friend Dara. And Ian kept yelling Daaaaaaaa-RA! haha. It was pretty funny... yeah. Oh. But while waiting for marcy, we were discussing best friends... I said something about Mandy's "like" my best friend. and she was like I AM your best friend... and I was like... well maybe, but why should you be mine when I'm not yours? And she was like but you are. And I was like no I'm not. And Ian was like I thought I was your best friend. And then i was like well I'm her girl best friend. And you're her boy best friend. But that was drunk mandy talk. Cuz I think we've discussed that all before... and it didn't come out like that. :P Bt whatever. And this other time she told me I was the reason she got up in the morning.. haha. Back in high school... cuz I guess I seemed sad that night. But apparently she meant that I was one of the reasons. Not the same... really. I dunno. She does mean a lot to me, which is why it's sort of hard that she's moving along so steadily in life and I'm not. I dunno. We used to be at the same place. But whatever. I guess I'll be getting a real job soon, hopefully, and we'll have different lives, which we already do have, but... I dunno. The point is: I didn't throw up again. Go me. I thought mandy was going to buy my birthday present yesterday while I pointed it out to her. But I guess we didn't get around to that... oh well. :P doesn't matter. I'm not a greedy person... ...

Dude. Crappiest birthday surprise EVER. Not funny.

I sent this email to some friends, because I can't sleep and I'm still super pissed.

Here:

So let me tell the story, because I need to vent just once more tonight. It's my birthday right? Thanks by the way to my pals who called me and whatnot... Anyway. So I was sitting there watching south park, right? Hear this loud noise outside... what was that? Sounded like someone jumped on a car. Look out the window. some punkass motherfucker is starting to climb on my neighbour's car... so I got to the door and I'm all hey fucker! And he starts running. Of course. Ahem. So after I yelled that, my mom comes running and she's like what? So I tell her, and I'm like go check my car... cuz I was in my jammies. So she does. Comes back. They dented your car! WHAT THE FUCK?! Go put on my coat, and shoes, and run outside down the block. Look around. Where'd those fuckers go? See them like 3 blocks away... so i start running and screaming a bunch of variations of the word fuck... and everything, supah loud. Like remember that time I was calling for that dumbass Jody wherever the fuck we were mandy? Super loud? Hurt my voice? Yeah. Louder than that. Yeah. So then one of them yells sorry at me... and I'm all SORRY?! MOTHERFUCKER YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY SORRY TO ME! DON'T JUMP ON MY CAR YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES! FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUCKKKKKKK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU. And then like... did I mention there were four of them when i first spotted them and when I started yelling two of them ran like fucking antelope? Well they did. And holy shit. Was I ever, oh these assholes are guilty as fuck. So yeah. Then I went back in the house, cuz what was I gonna do to these guys? I'm 5 fucking foot one for christ's sake. Without any sort of weapon at hand. I couldn't take even two guys even with my hulkish transformation. So yes. When I got back in the house mother was on the phone... to the police. They came, talked to me... blah blah. Mother drove around for a bit trying to find them. I seriously should have just taken a beating, because I'm sure I would have gotten at least one punch in. I can run fast when I'm crazy. Trust me. But anyway. Got all worked up, phoned a friend... dave... and he was all i dunno... being dave, trying to cheer me up and whatever. But anyway. I was crying so hard I almost puked. That hasn't happened since Shawna died. It's not cool. Plus I had been running, which I don't do... and it's cold out. A number of factors did that... but I didn't puke... but... blah. So mad. So here are the pics of damage. My mother was close to tears. This is the third incident I've had with a vehicle of mine parked in front of our house this year. Fucking ridiculous. This world is going to shit. My friend Chelsi drew the katys revenge picture. I love it. We were discussing how I should go buy a paintball gun, and shoot every teenager I see because they all suck. Trust me. I was one yesterday. So therefore... you all suck. But if you walked by my house, I wouldn't shoot you cuz I know you're not car jumper on-ers. At least you better not be. Yes, I sent it to myself too, because I'm going to vent tomorrow at school... to my teacher and need visual aid. :P Good night. Except I can't go to sleep cuz I'm too pissed. I just wanted to show off my new car ... dead. Or... after its first attack. I'm sure there are more to come if I stay in this house. Jesus. I fucking hate saskatoon. A lot. I should have known I couldn't have a completely good day. Christ. Just kill me now, hey? Fuckers. God CLEARLY does not want me to own a nice vehicle. Anyway. Love you all. I could have emailed this to more people but... they already know. You guys didn't. So you get a long email! Yay for you! Yes, it sucks. You dont' have to email me back, I just needed to vent again. I've vented to like 3 people and on my lj... :P but I'm still not finished. Oh no. Not by a long shot. Goodnight! I'm here til... I dunno. But try the veal.

With these pictures attached:

Haha. I just went onto the neopets site, cuz... I'm such a child and like those games, and figured I should get some pets and feed them every once in a while... done this for like 4 years now. :P Anyway. When I went onto it just now I noticed the background was different... like a bunch of balloons and stuff and I was like... what is this? It's cuz it's my birthday and they know that. Neat, eh? :P Meh. I thought it was cute. Yeah... I'm weird and need to grow up... stick to the kids movies, not the kids games. :P But whatever. I do what I want. You don't know me. Haha.

Oh dude. I watched the WoW episode of south park last night on youtube. So fucking funny! I laughed. Hard. But the part where Cartman needs to go to the bathroom and then...calls his mom down... yeah. Unnecessary... but necessary because it is south park.

So. I'm online, right? My msn name is Happy Birthday me :P. Who hasn't wished me a happy birthday yet? Collin. I knew he was a bastard. Actually I didn't really at first. But whatever. Now we know for sure, and I should stop being so creepy. Hahaha.

Katy, really, you need to stop talking about him. He sucks. He double sucks. My friends heart me. It's awesome. I didn't know they liked me so much. Hehe. They allllll phoned me. Mandy first though. Which I appreciated. And then Jessica (+ Nathan) stopped by to give me my prezzie. Which was a hair straightener, I heart that girl. And then wes (+ ...Ryan?) stopped by with alcohol for me... opened alcohol... thanks wes :P and flowers. Aw. And then finally Amy! Yay! Hehe. Who also gave me flowers AND cookie dough. Awesem. Not that I'm taking inventory or anything. Haha. but yeah. I didn't know I was so loved. Then Amy and I went driving, cuz I was like... let's go drive around. She was like k. And then she bought me an ice cap cuz she's cool like that. And... yeah. So it was an early evening, but I plan to try out the hair straightener later, might take a picture. So yeah. It was like a one minute party with everyone but mandy there. Heh.

Oh when I talked to Mandy today, I was like so how come I haven't seen you in two weeks? and she was like I dunno... but Ian and I were talking about you the other day (she always says this about someone... haha... like... I mean who she talks to about me...? what do I mean? I dunno) but yeah... she said he was like I haven't seen katy in forever! And she was like me neither... and he was like you just saw her and she was like... yeah... think about when that was... oh yeah it was a long time ago. So. But whatever. We're all gonna see each other tomorrow, and most likely go out for supper and then to the party! Which I bought tickets for! And Pete MIGHT be going! But I think he might have a girlfriend, but I don't wanna ask! haha. Cuz that would be creepy! or too nosey. Meh. I'm done. I'm missing six degrees. Bah.

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

So before going home after school, I decided I should renew my license before I spend a butt load of money on alcohol this weekend. :P Plus the cd Amy gave me for my car has really grown on me, and... yeah. I love it.

But anyway. When I got home, sitting by my spot in the living room was a card and a ... guess... you'll never guess unless you knew me 6 months ago. A toblerone. A BIG one. Man. I love my mom. I started crying I was so happy. :P

Plus Shawna and I used to give each other toblerones, and the last christmas she was alive I sent her a pinata and some little bitty toblerones. And when I talked to her she was like YOU GAVE ME TOBLERONES! It brought a tear to my eye I was so happy!

She's funny. So that's what it did to me just now. I know what she means. :P It's so damn delicious. I am pleased. Good birthday. Haha.

Oh and the card was pretty funny too... and it has flashing lights on it. It's awesome. Something about her consulting a world famous astrologer to see which sign I'm drawn to most... and you open it... and it's this sign that says "BAR" with flashing lights around it. Pretty. Hehe. I'm in a good mood. Which is good.

Rollin' rollin' rollin'

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

Geez. So I phoned Mandy when I got home from my brother's... we watched Lucky Number Slevin... awesome. But anyway... and I was all so do you still wanna go to this party on Friday? cuz I gotta buy tickets. And she was like yeah, for sure! So I was like okay... do you wanna bring anyone else? And she was like yeah... I'll bring Ian... heh. So I was like cool. And then I email brin cuz I told her I would (it's her party thing) and I told her I needed 3 tickets. And then 20 minutes later Mandy phones me back and she's all... uhm... I work on Friday. I forgot. Ian just reminded me. So I'm all silent... for like 3 minutes. And she was like finally... uh... I'll just call in sick on Friday. And I was like you're damn right. It's my 20th, for God's sake! And she laughed and was like yeah... and then we said goodbye. So it's settled. At least it better be. Or I'm gonna be super pissed. But you really can't expect any less from Mandy... I mean I try to make definite plans with her and she's all okay! And then remembers she's busy. She's got a messy head. But whatever. Love her through and through. I guess. :P

So that was my drama for the evening. I almost had a heartattack. Cuz like. I really do wanna go, if only for a cheap drink! And to help out Brin, cuz she has definitely grown on me. She's going travelling and hopefully she'll email me pictures in a mass emailing to everyone. :P

I realized today, that I've been in school with these people for a full year, and they have no idea what I'm about, except that I don't really talk. I think that's hilarious. How is that even possible? :P Don't know a damn thing I'm sure. Except I'm a little weird... meh. I'm fine with that.

I tried to be happy at school today... but... it wouldn't work. My teacher was pissing me off just cuz he was being all let's talk about random shit instead of me teaching you this new program of which you have to make your portfolio with and hand it in in 2 weeks! Ah! What fun! People are such wankers sometimes. I so should have skipped today. Apparently it snowed this morning after I got to school. Ridiculous. It ALWAYS snows before my birthday at least once. If only for a bit. Doesn't usually stay on the ground but... ya know.

STOP LOOKING AT MY PROFILE YOU MOTHERFUCKING PSYCHO. Goddamn. Seriously. Just back the fuck off, or get the guts to ask for your fucking notebook back, because I am so sick of you. Honestly, I just... am sick of you. Fuuuuuuuuck.

In other news, that totally pisses me off... and makes me laugh, because it pisses me off so much... why does it piss me off? I don't know. Haha. But I find it amusing that he still for some reason needs to keep 'tabs' on me... cuz I can't stop looking at his profile anonymously, so I guess what goes around comes around, but seriously. At least I'm smart enough to not look at his while logged in. :P I'M SO CREEPY.

But oh well.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I'm thankful for the blogs I read everyday. :P And my friends who never call me. And... how fat I've gotten. And... I'm not thankful for school almost being over, because I am so unqualified.. gah! Or maybe I'm not. I have gotten really good marks on all the things I've handed in... I mean... at least I think I did. He hasn't given me my mark for the sailing site yet... hmm. He told me what was wrong with it though... so I should fix that. But oh man. Tomorrow I'm going to have to stay so late. Because I've come up with a new idea for my lightwave project... and... so I have to work on that, because tomorrow we're starting something new. Guh.

But seriously. Why can't he get over me? The only reason I still talk about psycho c isn't because I'm in love with him. It's because he's in love with me. And I hate it. :P I do. Really. Actually I think it's fucking hilarious.

Had Thanksgiving dinner last night. Going to the Gordon Lightfoot concert tonight. Should be good. I hope. Heh. Of course it will be. I hope he doesn't drop dead in the middle of it... he's getting really up there in age. But of course he won't so yeah. Hope I didn't jinx it just now...

I was bored last night so I started talking to Collin. :P Crap, I said I wouldn't mention him again til he asked for his dumb poems back. Which he still has not. Fucker. Gawd. Anyway. So I was talking to him and I was like so what's new? And he was like, and I quote...sort of... "bought a couple cds... moved some furniture around in the basement..." and then he started going on about how he hates moving stuff because of the allergens. And I'm like oh my god... what a baby. :P But anyway. So he was like how bout you? And I was like... "bought a new car a couple weeks ago, almost done school, cleaned my room..." Heh. "What car?" "An echo"....whatever, asked the colour, told him, and blah blah... and then he's like well i'm going to bed cuz i'm not making much sense... he always says that when I talk to him around midnight. Like... what the hell. You seemed like you were making sort of sense to me. But what the fuck do I know, right? Whatever. I hate him. I really do. Heh. I keep giving him all these chances to ask for his notebook back, but does he take them? No. Of course not. But ANYWAY. I told my friend Amy that I was done with dating for a bit, which I think is pretty obvious because I haven't come across anyone 'new'. So I'm gonna wait til like... I dunno. Why doesn't Dean Cain know I'm alive? Geez... :P That would be so fucking amazing if he did. And liked me. Hahaha. Oh, now I'm just dreamin. I get tomorrow off, what ever will I do? Hmm. I don't know. Well whatevs. Happeh Thanksgivin'.

Oh, did you notice? I totally took away word verification on my comments. To encourage those anonymous machines to spam me. :P I love mail. At least I thought I took it away... I dunno. Spose I should comment myself and see.. or whatever. Um, bye.

Oh, I also talked to Kevin on Friday cuz he was just idling online for like 10 minutes so I finally caved and said hi and he was all 'hello!'. and I was like ah. Why does he always answer me like that? Or start it like that? With an exclamation mark... come on now, you can't be that excited to talk to me. :P Everytime... geez. But whatever. haha.

So I was watching 20/20 with mother, because it was about being slothy. :P

Near the end of the show, they were talking to some guy who works at the Museum of Natural History, and all I could think was "The Museum of Natural History. *wink*". It was driving me nuts, because I could see the movie poster in my head, but could not for the life of me remember what the title was. Took about 3 different tries on google then like 2 pages in... finally got it. We're Back! A Dinosaur's Tale. I loved that movie when I was little, and that was my favourite quote, which is why it's stuck with me for 13 years. :P

So I then proceeded to look up other childhood favourites like rock-a-doodle and Cats Don't Dance. I miss my childhood.. heh. Movies were so awesome back then, and it was totally appropriate to adore them... when you're little. Now people just think you're weird, even though you know they love them too. Mandy for instance also adored Rock-A-Doodle when she was little, so we rented it one time, and... it just wasn't as good, but still pretty cool. We also watched A Troll in Central Park. That... was not as good at all. We had to turn it off... :P But it was great way back when.

Cats Don't Dance is still totally one of my favourites... used to watch it every new years... and it's on tv around that time, so I try to watch it every year. :P I love it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Yeah.

I need ta grow up. I'm almost 20 for goodness sake. But whatever. I can like whatever I want.

I still watch Recess from time to time. :P I loved that show. Went to see the movie with Amy when it came out, and we were like the only people in the theatre. Hehe, it was awesome. Well, I have to go pick up Wesley's mother from the airport in a bit... heh. Cuz Wes has to work early tomorrow morning and I'm cheaper than a cab. I also don't have a life. :P :D Oh. One time, back when we had to change classrooms after our breaks we'd all go watch tv for 15 minutes, and one time it was stopped on the channel that was showing Recess and Pete was like all right! I love Recess! And I was all swoon... haha. :P Yeah, I dunno if I really like him all that much. He's super nice and all... but... I just... dunno. Meh. I will one day ask for his email though. I swear. Maybe...?

This is getting sick. Why do I keep stalking him?... in a way. I don't like him. Like at all. He's a really giant moron.

You know what would suck? If he got as bored as I do and started googling things... like... my name, since he's so obsessed with me :P and his name... because I'm pretty sure that this blog pops up in the results. Ooohhh... Collin if you do one day happen upon this... it's all true. And I'm not sorry about anything I've said. It's how I feel, and... you're crazy.

Okay. Now I promise not to mention him again, unless he continues to look at my profile, OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE. God. That really pissed me off, I'm serious. Whatevs. I sent some random message to some random man on a different site, saying that he brought 'gnarly' back into my vocabulary. :P I doubt he'll answer me back, and I don't really care.

Whee. I'm a smidgeon glad school's almost done, cuz it's super starting to piss me off.

And there he goes again. LOOKING AT MY PROFILE. Jesus, guy, just fuck off. Ask for the poems, allow me to throw them at your stupid face, and then i can block you and forget about you. Man. What the hell?

He obviously has issues if he likes me that much. Seriously. I should have known... hahaha. However, I can be incredibly charming... supposedly.

So my horoscope obviously can't be about anyone I've met already cuz the horoscope said I hadn't met them. Hmm. Good. :)

So in conclusion: I really just want psycho c to leave me alone. Although he doesn't talk to me on msn... and I haven't spoken to him in a couple days... he's probably just trying to get my attention. Or something. But I won't give it. Not until he starts a conversation that says can I have my stupid ridiculous sad attempts at being emo poems back, please? And I will say yes. I will throw them in the river at 6, and you can go grab them if you so please. Dumbass. No, I'd probably be like sure, I guess...

Too bad, really. I'm not good at being mean. It will come in time, I'm sure.

whine.

My horoscope today left me confused. And like... talk about pressure. :P The rightness of MY wishes will draw this person into my life. It better be someone awesome.

Someone you haven't met could be just the person to change your life. It's time to really see where you are and think about where you want to go. The rightness of your wishes will draw this person into your life.

Ugh. So. This lightwave thing... 3dness... it's hard. And... honestly I don't think I have the patience. We have to make a clip a minute long... and... at first I was gonna do a can and a can opener and the can opener trying to open the can... but the can keeps moving away... and then the can opener give up, so the can's all 'Woot' but then the can opener jumps on the can and attaches itself like some kind of leech... but there is no way in hell I could model a can opener. Sigh.

So my brother was like you could do a pencil. And draw something with it. But Brin wants to do that with a crayon. So.. that wouldn't be very cool of me. But it is a good idea.

Hm. What else. Oh, I went to the bar last night... met up with Dave and Tony-ony whom, after seeing drunk, when I was not drunk, I don't have a huge crush on anymore... :P mainly cuz Andrea was like hanging onto him... bah... even though way back when Tony liked her but she thought he was creepy... which is ridiculous... he's just eccentric. :P I've dealt with creepy. Tony is not creepy. But anyway... he doesn't like her anymore, wonder why... so yeah. I dunno. Or at least that's what Dave said. But whatever. After that, Dave, his friend Curtis and me went to see Jackass 2. I didn't get home til a bit after 12. Yeah... worth it though. I had fun. I guess. I just wanted to see Tony again... that's like the only reason I went to the bar. :P

My dad sent me a couple pictures from the wedding last weekend. I look ridiculous. Isn't it awful when the way you perceive yourself to look is not what you look like at all? I hate that. So much. I look like a big retard in pictures, but when I look in the mirror, I guess cuz I'm looking at myself and can make myself look not retarded... bah. It's dumb, so now I'm all somewhat paranoid again. It's really way stupid. But whatever. I just need to not eat so much crap and not 'smile' like a moron. :P Blah.

So yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do for my lightwave project. It has to be an inanimate object that I give character to... like a bottle of water or something, although I want something easy that doesn't have liquid in it. Hmm... maybe a can crushing itself? Or a hammer hammering a nail? That might work... Do like a little matrix thing in there... ha, how overdone... meh.

Heh. I had an interesting dream last night, seeing as how I slept for like 13 hours. from 7 pm to 11... then 12 til... 9. whatever that equals. :P But anyway. I had a dream about Dave. Remember Dave? Coffee guy... yeah. Anyway... we were like talking, I think somehow I convinced him to go out with me again.. haha... and then we were sitting there talking and he's like.. yeah I don't think this is gonna work. I'd rather go out with a girl named Seven. And I was like are you sure her name isn't Eight? I dunno what that was about... but whatever. And then he was smiling at me, and then he took off his glasses and turned into Collin aka Psycho C. I woke up in a flash almost screaming. :P It was horrfying. Yeah. I hate that kid. And I want him to stay out of my dreams. Haha.