Dude. Crappiest birthday surprise EVER. Not funny.

I sent this email to some friends, because I can't sleep and I'm still super pissed.

Here:

So let me tell the story, because I need to vent just once more tonight. It's my birthday right? Thanks by the way to my pals who called me and whatnot... Anyway. So I was sitting there watching south park, right? Hear this loud noise outside... what was that? Sounded like someone jumped on a car. Look out the window. some punkass motherfucker is starting to climb on my neighbour's car... so I got to the door and I'm all hey fucker! And he starts running. Of course. Ahem. So after I yelled that, my mom comes running and she's like what? So I tell her, and I'm like go check my car... cuz I was in my jammies. So she does. Comes back. They dented your car! WHAT THE FUCK?! Go put on my coat, and shoes, and run outside down the block. Look around. Where'd those fuckers go? See them like 3 blocks away... so i start running and screaming a bunch of variations of the word fuck... and everything, supah loud. Like remember that time I was calling for that dumbass Jody wherever the fuck we were mandy? Super loud? Hurt my voice? Yeah. Louder than that. Yeah. So then one of them yells sorry at me... and I'm all SORRY?! MOTHERFUCKER YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY SORRY TO ME! DON'T JUMP ON MY CAR YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES! FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUCKKKKKKK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU. And then like... did I mention there were four of them when i first spotted them and when I started yelling two of them ran like fucking antelope? Well they did. And holy shit. Was I ever, oh these assholes are guilty as fuck. So yeah. Then I went back in the house, cuz what was I gonna do to these guys? I'm 5 fucking foot one for christ's sake. Without any sort of weapon at hand. I couldn't take even two guys even with my hulkish transformation. So yes. When I got back in the house mother was on the phone... to the police. They came, talked to me... blah blah. Mother drove around for a bit trying to find them. I seriously should have just taken a beating, because I'm sure I would have gotten at least one punch in. I can run fast when I'm crazy. Trust me. But anyway. Got all worked up, phoned a friend... dave... and he was all i dunno... being dave, trying to cheer me up and whatever. But anyway. I was crying so hard I almost puked. That hasn't happened since Shawna died. It's not cool. Plus I had been running, which I don't do... and it's cold out. A number of factors did that... but I didn't puke... but... blah. So mad. So here are the pics of damage. My mother was close to tears. This is the third incident I've had with a vehicle of mine parked in front of our house this year. Fucking ridiculous. This world is going to shit. My friend Chelsi drew the katys revenge picture. I love it. We were discussing how I should go buy a paintball gun, and shoot every teenager I see because they all suck. Trust me. I was one yesterday. So therefore... you all suck. But if you walked by my house, I wouldn't shoot you cuz I know you're not car jumper on-ers. At least you better not be. Yes, I sent it to myself too, because I'm going to vent tomorrow at school... to my teacher and need visual aid. :P Good night. Except I can't go to sleep cuz I'm too pissed. I just wanted to show off my new car ... dead. Or... after its first attack. I'm sure there are more to come if I stay in this house. Jesus. I fucking hate saskatoon. A lot. I should have known I couldn't have a completely good day. Christ. Just kill me now, hey? Fuckers. God CLEARLY does not want me to own a nice vehicle. Anyway. Love you all. I could have emailed this to more people but... they already know. You guys didn't. So you get a long email! Yay for you! Yes, it sucks. You dont' have to email me back, I just needed to vent again. I've vented to like 3 people and on my lj... :P but I'm still not finished. Oh no. Not by a long shot. Goodnight! I'm here til... I dunno. But try the veal.

With these pictures attached: