burst of tears, broken heart

So... I was reading Eclipse, third in the series of Twilight. I just started it. 15 pages in, maybe, and I start bawling. Because Edward's skin was cold (obv) and I thought about my grandpa's eulogy that my dad gave and how grandpa had poor circulation like dad does. And then I thought about when I saw grandpa in the hospital and how dad brought him a pair of socks. And how we stuck them on his feet. And then I just remembered how sad it was to see him lying there like that... I'm so glad I went though. I really am. I told my grandpa I love him and I'm glad I did. But it's silly... he died just over a month ago, the funeral was two weeks ago... it'll take way longer to get over it than that, though. I mean, I'm still grieving for Shawna. :P

Anyway, Jordan's in bed, half asleep. He said goodnight to me and I said goodnight to him. And because I was upset, I asked him if I could have a hug. He said no. And then I waited a while... then came on my computer because I decided I had to hear Spitting Games by Snow Patrol. It's my song.

He's a jerk sometimes. I'm not used to it, still. Roommates got a kitten. It's cute. Her name is Autumn and she's a calico kitty. CUTE!

Anyway, I just had to write that down, to help me get it out of my system. Now... back to bed. Maybe. I have all next week off, I'm so excited!! Whee. Movie watching, here I come!!!!!

I also miss my cousins Rachael and David. We buried grandpa next to their stone. It was surprising to see their stone there. I didn't know it would be there. It upset me a little cuz I didn't get to go out there last year for the ceremony. Who would have thought a year later, grandpa would be joining them up on that hill. Oh well.

Listening to Spitting Games for the third time. Then I'm off to bed as soon as it's done and Jordan will think I got up because I was mad at him... I'm not really, I'm just upset and wanted a little comfort. But he couldn't be bothered and I can't blame him. I'm always bugging him... oh well.

I find it easier to sit and stare than push my limbs out towards you right there. My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes. Eyes blue as oceans and as pure as skies. Struggle for the words and then give up.

Yeah... i love this song. Ever since mandy told me about in, like, grade 12 I guess. She said it reminded her of me. :P Not surprising if you know the lyrics. I was a pretty creepy kid. :P Anyway...


yeah, I should go to bed. I feel a lot better now, thanks blog.


I just came up with the title of this post now. I like it. I should write poetry. I used to be really good. They were weird, but really good. Yeah. Much better than Colin the retard's poems. Oh my god, those were awful. Anyone remember him? Stalker that he was. Ew. Shudder. K, done.