When boredom sets in...

I got bored and needed to take my mind off things. Lucky for me, photoshop is good at that. :P

I really like these and I'm not sure why... oh well.

The declaration. Hehe.

As I was almost asleep, Jordan hugged me and said, "I love you so deeply, Katy."

"What?"

"I love you so deeply, Katy."

I totally swooned and obviously totally heard him the first time, I just wanted to hear it again. :P ...Plus I thought I was dreaming... heh.

And then I said I love you too. I wanted to say back what he said, because I've wanted to say those exact... well... substitute Jordan for Katy... words for so long now. Yeah...

Sigh.

He's really great and we're working on the you know... communication thing.

I'm somewhat determined to get skinny-ish... or at least lose 20 pounds... ha... by the time I have to go meet his family in July. I don't think that's going to happen unless a miracle takes place. Oh well.

I just... need to stop eating bad things. Yep. And that's about it. Oh right, and exercise. Yeah. That.

Happy birthday mother. :P

university may be on the horizon for me. Exciting stuff... i just don't think i have a future as a graphic designer where i live now and I'm not ready to move. And it always helps to have a BA in... something. No idea what I'll take. No math though. Absolutely none. So... no becoming an architect for me. Ah... a dream from my youth... young, naive Katy. Who'm I kidding? I'm still both those things. Kind of. I'm getting old... sigh. Ah well. So yeah. I dunno.

All right... so we all know I'm kinda stupid sometimes... but this... was a big one.

I tried cooking a frozen lasagna last night.... and... of course I can't really read, so I put it at the wrong temperature... for almost an hour and a half... it had 6 minutes left when I figured it out.

Yeah. It was 7 when I figured it out and we were hungry. And I'm BIG retard. Huge.

So I bought him dinner. Cuz I'm a bit retard.

I'm gonna try again tonight... I know that my oven is Fahrenheit now. God, I'm an idiot. He laughed... I just felt really, really stupid. Oh well. It's fine. I just... learned my lesson. Must read way more carefully. Yeah. Anyway... here's a video I enjoyed, but also kinda freaked me out... :P

This guy's awesome by the way...



Haha. I watched it you know... that day I was all upset. Tuesday, I guess. Bleh.

Yeah, overreacting is fun and stuff, but I do it too often. :P

Although my last post was definitely all what I was feeling when I wrote it... I kind of regret some of it. I mean... like... it is true, he doesn't listen to me some of the time. But I love just hanging out with him, you know?...

Maybe you don't... I don't even know. Whatever. Dunno if I'm going to see him tonight or not.

I think that mostly depends on whether my brother is going to be dropping off guitar hero. :P

Fuck, that game is neat. And hard on my fingers. Heh. Ah well...

I have to burn a cd for wesley now, whom I have not talked to much in the past month. And he's leaving for the summer, so I like... wnana... not have him "break up" with me. :P

Anyway... just a note. I will never be able to own or operate a firearm. Because I will bust a cap in so many people's faces, it wouldn't even be funny.

Oh the days go by... still... more slowly than the last.

I had to write too much about the RCMP Heritage Centre today. I kinda wanted to go, but not after Costa Maragos took me on a tour and totally ruined the only thing I might have liked. Aside from the you know, learning stuff... but whatever. Gotta love Costa. And I do. And I'm gonna shut up now. My arm started really hurting at work... and fuck, I need to bring my own earphones in case of a tv transcript. Cuz... ugh, those headphones piss me off. The cord is too short and is on the wrong side. It sucks. Yep. Alright. that's enough.

"No man is worth your tears and the one that is... won't make you cry."

I heard that quote a long, long time ago, but it's stuck with me. And I think about it every time he makes me cry. And I wonder whether this is actually working. Because honestly, I have no idea.


He never listens to me. He thinks he knows what I'm going to say, but in reality, he has no idea.

I don't want to break up with him. Ever. He's going to crack one day though and break up with me. It's going to be great.... except not at all. You know... fuck him. Fuck him in his stupid, know-it-all big giant fat jerky ass. FUCK. Why am I so upset? I don't know.

I forget.

All because I was too quiet, because I didn't want to tell him that I had a pap test today, but was kind of dying to tell him. But not at all. You know? Like... he wants me to tell him everything... or almost... but I can't. It's really none of his business. You know what I mean?

I hate this. I hate it that he won't listen to me. Or that he just won't let me be me. I always have to be happy katy, but he needs to understand I'm more than that. Obviously. He knows I have more dimension, but he just doesn't like them. He can't even put up with them. And if he can't.. then... maybe it's just... I don't know. Not meant to be. He's such an asshole sometimes. Like, really. But I mean, who isn't? I am a gigantic one a lot of the time. But I don't think I make him cry.

But I've decided that I'm not driving him around anymore. If he wants to go out for supper and then split, he can drive his damn self. Especially when gas is at you know, a buck twenty-six a fucking litre. Fuck that shit. Fuck it big time. GAWD.

I'm so fucking frustrated and I hate it. I hate how he just... I dunno.

I guess I want him to just sit back and take everything I throw. I should have known no one would put up with that. It's ridiculous to even think that. But... again... it's me. Katy the almighty moron of life.

I think we both just need more sleep.

Damn these damn car commercials and their playing of neat folkish music... which i adore.

Damn them to hell.

Indeed.

Anyway...

So yeah... this one's from a chevy commercial... forget which car. But yeah. It's by Ingrid Michaelson. Called 'The Way I am'. It's so good. And i can't stop listening to it.

It sounds like some other stuff I listen to, but I can't place my finger on it. :P

YAY HOLIDAY MONDAY! So stoked. Going golfing with my dad and brother. Jordan can't come cuz... well he could... but he can't golf anyway cuz of his shoulder... ah, that accident. Yeah. Alrighty... maybe I'll go phone him... before I make myself insane with this song. :P Which'll never happen. Teehee...

Oops. Almost a week, eh? I've been kind of busy tending to my injured boyfriend. Whom I've not been all that nice to cuz I miss that mazda. :P... I mean missed. I'm... "over it" now. Except... I dunno. Whatever. I've been a bitch, and he's been one back. Not cool. Anyway.

Jordan got a new car.

I still have a job.

My dog's going into some kind of physiotherapy. Hehehe. He wears a lifejacket and goes in water. His leg got screwed up last year and they did surgery on it twice, but he still won't walk on it. And yeah.

Hmm, what else?...

Oh. I found out today my dad edited another book. The launch is tomorrow. how could I not have known before? good question. I don't know. :P Guess I gotta ask like every seven years, so uh... writing another book? Yeesh. :P Yeah. I'm going to the launch. It's not about anything I'm too terribly interested, but it's stuff he knows. and that's cool... I guess.

Um. Holy crap, I love Medium. :P I think I'm like the only person who watches it though. Heroes is becoming the biggest soap opera ever. It's a little annoying. I really need to go to bed like now, but I must wait for laundry. Sheesh. Umm... hmm.

And I've decided I'm going to stop eating so much. Ever since I started going out with Jordan I gained back that 15 pounds. It's awful. We're both gonna try to lose wait. Yeah, you can do it by yourself buddy. I don't like workout buddies. I like to do that in my basement with my helpful dvd. :P Haha. Oh that woman... anyway, I'm getting into it too much here. Here's a picture of his new car. it's so cute. It and my car are totally gonna be best friends. Oh, and I think Jordan and I are probably going to move in together in September, cuz it's pretty much the most convenient. I dunno. We'll see though.

The Victim:







The Murderer (Well... her totaled car at least...):



I'm very glad everyone is okayish. I mean... Jordan has a broken collar bone. Well. cracked. But it will break. Sigh. And his friend Mike... who was driving... has some neck muscle damage and is supposed to wear a neck brace. And yeah. So my boyfriend is out of a car. So... plans to move might have to wait til he get another one. Goddamn it, hey? That car and I had fond memories. there are more pictures... but... it's just so sad. :( I told my dad... he was a little upset... cuz I mean... that car's been in our family for a while. :P But yeah... I didn't go to work today. I am tomorrow though. I should go... do stuff... and junk. yeah.

Jordan + car accident = worried the hell out katy... and stressed. Not cool.

He's apparently fine, but his leg hurts. However, he did not know how his friend was doing. He was noxious and dizzy after the accident. i suspect he hit his head on the window. I am freaking out slightly. As I was dropping mandy off, it suddenly just hit me what happened to him and i started bawling. And he just sent me a cryptic little text message that said: hospital, on bell phones allowed.

Like... what?! Can you not use your cell? So get to the payphone and fuckin phone me. Silly. Seriously... I dunno if I'll go to work tomorrow. I'm really worried... but... everything will probably be fine......

My horoscope today:


And many happy returns! Oh, wait -- it's not your birthday? Then why is there a party going on, and always in your vicinity? Ah, now it becomes clear: Those lucky stars are all just dancing in your sector of the heavens.


It's weird, cuz Amy's going away party is tonight. She's going to Malaysia for a month... yeah same girl I was supposed to go to NZ with... :P But chickened out... yeah. Her. I love her, but ever since I said I changed my mind, we haven't been as good of friends. It sucks. I haven't been a good friend to any of my friends lately, actually.

Like I realize that and I am going to try and fix it. Jessica and I will be good in the summer, cuz she'll come sailing with me... hopefully. She's the only one who knows how. And I'll take Mandy and Ian up... cuz they wanna go back... so... it'll be good. And maybe I'll actually take Wesley sailing this time. :P We didn't last year. Went up a couple times but it was always too windy. :P Haha. Aw...