nothing.

Hmm. Well... I've been thinking too much about what school's going to be like. I'm kind scared. :P

Whatever. Very much so, actually.

Eep.

And like... I dunno... I think the next time I apply for a job, I need to change my cover letter. I applied for two graphic designer jobs and neither of them emailed back. Whatever dudes. It might be that I have almost no experience too... but still. One of htem was a fucking typesetter. But we had bad luck in that department didn't we? ... yes. Yes, we did.

Anyway.

I don't know what to do about life anymore. I have no direction. :P

It's kinda crappy... and I still ahven't called heather, who I've been meaning to call, but did email her my cell number, so if she had time... she could phone me. I just get so caught up in whatever's going on in that moment, you know? Or I'm playing my wii. Or I'm on the computer swimming in my old drawings which I forgot about, but now realize are like... actually pretty good. Like the pony one. It's now my desktop. :P

So yeah. I don't know. I've been updating the sailing site sort of... well... I did. So that was good that it finally decided to connect me... sheesh.

Yep... I just know that I don't want to be at the job I'm at for you know,... very long. I'm talking over a year. Probably will be, cuz it's pretty good for... being there and... good hours and stuff. I guess. I think I'm going to sign up for night classes... mostly. Probably only like 3 classes... dunno if I can pick just 3 though. I still don't know if I'm even in. :P I was conditionally admitted, but like... they should have got my marks by now.

Oh well. I need to stop worrying about it. I'm just... nervous. Cuz I want you know... a real job at some point in my life. One that's going to stick and I get paid more than I do now. Blah. Whatever.

That's what I need to listen to. Some Our Lady Peace. Yeah. That'd rock.

Saturday daze.

I dunno why I keep going to Futureshop all the time... but I do. And I'm so extremely glad I went yesterday, cuz they had a canon digital camera there for 100 bucks. Yeah. I know. that thing is usually like 320 some or something.

So yeah.... I got a new camera and I'm happy. I also purchased season one of House for my mother for her... birthday. Which was like... 2 weeks ago. But whatever. I had gotten her candy... but then decided I was being too cheap. :P Cuz I was.

Um... oh. I was totally playing mario party 8 last night... to you know... give it another chance and discovered it's actually kind of really fun. :P I like it.

In all... I absolutely need to stop buying things. Cuz yeah. It's... starting again. the obsessive shopping. It's not cool.

Saturday morning.

Oookay... well. Hm.

Oh yay. Nevermind. Apparently I'm going thrift store shopping. My favourite activity. Joy! :P

Holy Shiza... mother. Oh goodness... walking around super fast... whatevs. Apparently she's got works to ddo... ohhh... maybe it's about that fucking 'will they, won't they strike thing' I've been hearing so much about. Probably. Silly people... except not.

Um... what else. Oh. Everyday on my way home from work, I drive by this tattoo place... and I always get the urge while sitting in traffic that I should just go in there and get it. :P Socks. On my leg. Yeah.

I keeping thinking I see Shawna everywhere... it's not good... heh. Especially cuz I'm like staring at these native girls who look almost nothing like her. I miss her. :P

I should really phone val sometime.

and tell her what's happening... that I"m not going to Toronto... but I wanna see her like... next summer or fall.. or april... whenever i get out of school, if i last that long. :P Blah... I'm terrified of going to university. I haven't written an essay for a very, very long time. Sigh.

Whatever. I need to go get dressed. :P Cya.

By the way... when I sleep at home on the weekend, I tend to get like... 11 hours of sleep, like I did last night. mmm.

Oops.

Oh goodness... Oo, i should go watch Angus. Or Pumpkin. Hmmm... probably won't watch either.

Man, work's starting to get fucking annoying. you know... hearing the same news item twenty billion times... and... stuff... can really start to piss a person off, I guess.

I did a flyer for someone at JOrdan's work. He will be paying me in DS form... as in buying me a new one. Black. Yeah. In July...

Meh. One more thing to add to my portfolio I guess.

I applied to the unversity... and paid my application fee. But I need to send a transcript... boo... sucks, I know. :P

I had a 98 in drafting. I couldn't believe it. I totaly forgot. And was mad at myself for not pursuing it. I still could... but I mean... I already paid the 90 bucks. So maybe later? Fucker. :P

Jordan wants to quit cuz they still haven't given him the new job they said he had. He's pissed about that. I would be too. Like... fuck. Don't offer the job AND hire someone for it if you're not ready to have it there... or don't even want it there. (It's going to cost them too much). Whatever. Um... hmm...

Holy, I'm tired. Trying to finish up laundry.

Apparently Jordan doesn't want to spend Tuesdays or Thursdays with me because he doesn't want to get sick of me. Jerk. If you keep leaving me on my own, I'll get sick of you. I know it doesn't make sense, but I'm starting to revert to my old ways where I only left the house for... absolutely necessary reasons. :P I do want to start you know... getting back into that shit though, so this is a good thing. It's good.

Yep. good. :P

Know what'd be hilarious? If I didn't get into the U of S. Yeah. Real funny... gawd, I'd feel so stupid. Cuz that would suck. Cuz they let everyone in. I'm serious. Everyone. Anyway... I'm gonna go... does some shiznits.

Jordan had a bad day... so... I didn't mention what we both (hopefully) knew. :P... however, I did buy him pizza for supper and he's getting me quino's tomorrow. mmm. yay. Quizno's. So tasty.


Anyway... he was pretty much falling asleep when I left. So yeah. Poor guy... oh well.

It was a long day for everyone I think... whatever.


I... should play some more elebits. Sometime. What I should really do right now is work more on that flyer that I started only earlier today. Yeah. Okay.


Gawd, I don't want to go to work tomorrow... sigh.

random notes... thoughts... whatever...

First of all... I can't really figure out how to apply to university, and I'm not normally one to ask for help, so this process will take a while.

Second of all... Wednesday will be 6 months. This is somewhat a big deal to me, but I have no idea what Jordan thinks of it. He thinks we spend way too much time together, and I would have to agree. But I like it. I think he might be planning on breaking up with me, but... that's actually quite doubtful. I'm just paranoid like that.

I don't think that's how he rolls.

He's more of a ... three year guy and waits for her to break up with him. I guess? I don't know. I won't speculate any further.

I'm trying to work on a flyer for one of Jordan's coworkers... but it's just... not coming together at all. I have no idea how to do this.

I applied for a job typesetting flyers today. I really want it. It's three bucks more than I make now. And that would rock. Hardcore. Totally.

Yeah. I've decided I'm going to stop buying things. I'm glad I won't see Jordan tomorrow, cuz then I don't have to eat. I know it's horrible, but he asked how I had lost the weight the first time and that was how, I'm pretty sure. I did not eat at regular intervals. And I don't want to. I'm anorexic. But I know it. So... it's okay? Except not at all. I just need to eat healthier. That's all. But it's so hard with ice cream in the world. And summer right around the corner... sigh. Summer.

Hmph. Toooooo hot. I need more shirts that fit. But I wanna lose a few pounds before I shop again. I can't find the black shirt I bought. I think my mother stole it. And traded me a crappy shirt for it. Or something. Crazy woman. :P

Oh, wes bought a jetta. It's super fucking sweet and I am so damn jealous.

And (hopefully) I'm going to see mandy's new apartment tomorrow. If she answers her phone this time... meh.

So yeah... I guess 6 months isn't a big deal. I think it is... but... I g uess for someone who's been in so many relationships, you get used to it. But whatever. I've never had a boyfriend this long... or... make that a real boyfriend... ever... :P... so... yeah. Big deal to me. So if nothing happens on Wednesday, I may be a bit upset. But not terribly... but I will be sure to discuss a few things with him. Treat me like a princess, damn it! I'm kidding. :P Kidding. Seriously though. :P Kidding.