Saturday, September 30, 2006

The scroll ball on my mouse has stopped working. I'm kinda pissed. At first it just stopped scrolling up. Now it won't even scroll down. Whatever... I suppose I could ask for a new one for my birthday. Less than two weeks now. Dang. 20. However, that weekend will *hopefully* be full of drinking for cheap. :P Yeah... Lookin' forward to it.




Oh. I just signed into that damn site, that I'm so apparently addicted to... :P and Collin was looking at my profile again. Why can't he just fuck off? I'm serious. I need to not talk to him on msn anymore. I think it just encourages him. But I get really bored... and... these idiots are my entertainment... I know, I'm horrible. But... whatever. The wedding today was fine, I guess. I didn't know anyone. It didn't matter that I went. To the couple who got married. But it mattered to my dad so whatever? Whatever. I just wanna go collapse on my bed for the rest of the night. Which I guess I'll do. Or... I dunno.. half an hour.

Friday, September 29, 2006

I want you to want me. :P

Damn, 3d animation is pretty intense. I don't think I'll ever figure it out... :P But maybe I will. That'd be awesome... but yeah.

Had kind of a nice little chat with Pete today during the last half hour of class... he likes Harry Potter... awesome. Makes me like him more. Heh. :P I think he's aware that I like him... but whatever. I didn't ask for his email cuz... it was during class and like... i dunno. I didn't feel like it. Meh. Sigh. Hehe. He's really cool. And yeah.

I have to go to a wedding tomorrow... damn I should have asked Pete to go with me. :P Wonder what my dad would say to that. Haha. Meh. Doesn't matter, cuz I didn't ask. Indeed... hmm.

My mother put another spider under a bowl yesterday... she just traps them and suffocates them, it's really sad, but anyway, I told her this morning that when I got home, I didn't want it to be there. Got home. It's still there. So I phoned her and I'm all ... what did I say this morning? :P And she was like... what? And I was all I told you to get rid of the spider. Last time she did this I had to kill it... because it had been under there for two days. But anyway. She was like I sprayed it, but forgot to pick it up. Bah. So yeah.

I dunno... if I was a spider I think I'd rather be squished instantly rather than die breathing in poison. Or absorbing it. Whatever happens with that... and I do not like squishing spiders, but I think it makes it quicker and... ya know. Hopefully ya get it all at once. Ugh. But the spiders she traps are really gross.. and kinda big.

That kind big totally reminded me of the shoes video. Wes showed it to me. haha. Hilarious... I'm gonna betch slap you shatbag! :P It's... yeah. Good stuff. And with that, I will end this post. Good day.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

We're finished our little video project for class. I think. I dunno. Yours truly put the finishing touches on, because... everyone else had gone to lunch. :P And I just... needed to fine tune it a little. But yeah. It's alright.

Um.

Oh. I was looking through my records after school and I totally forgot I bought this "Now That's What I Call Music!" compilation thingy... four records... ALL 80's music. I'm so in love with it. I hadn't listened to all of them apparently. The second side of the first record is all gold. I love it. Starts with 99 red balloons, then goes into girls just wanna have fun, then it's a song by Tracey Ullman?! Man. Haha. It's pretty catchy too. :P

But yes. Oh the 80's. I wish I had lived in you longer.

That sounds weird... but whateva.

Uhh... hmm. Oh. I opened my scanner yesterday and found this baby:

I also posted it in my other journal... which I haven't updated since, I don't think. Hahaha. :P Hmm. I should get on that. I have been drawing some... sorta. Meh. But yeah. I love that picture, and the story that goes with it... :P Just cuz it's... random and I was like... ugh! I can't draw Jesus, so I looked up a bunch of pictures and finally got it... almost... all right. And yeah. that's it. I'm going to the Broadway to see the Leonard Cohen movie with my mother. Good times will be had. She better buy popcorn...



****

After the movie... yes, she bought popcorn. Mmm. Anyway. I... like Leonard Cohen's music. It's pretty awesome... he's pretty funny. I kinda knew all that already, but this just... made it fo' sure. Anyway.

I am officially in love with a singer named Teddy Thompson. :P His voice is... AMAZING. OH. MY. GOD. Ahhh. Swoon. :P And... he's not dead! It's perfect! He's also not old... two other singers I'm in love with because of their voice are Gordon Lightfoot(really old... might die soon... concert's coming up! Yay!), and Nick Drake. Dead. Since the 70s. :S So yes. Siiiggghhh. :) The girl at the booth musta thought I was like 12 cuz I got in for a child's admission. Hahaha. Oh god.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Okay. So. This is driving me nuts, and I hate it.

When did he re-add me? HMM? Was he aware that I was the same person who ditched him? Or... well... you know. I totally did it first. We all know. And I'm so glad. But like... so I added him back. And he's been be right back for like an hour now. Why doesn't he just ask for his fucking poems back and let me rest in peace? Jesus. I was so cool until I saw that I was on his msn list again. Blah. Fucking assface. I hope he dies. Seriously. I do. I will not feel bad at all.

Not even a little.

Nope.

I've been so uninspired lately. I want premiere on my computer and then I'll do stuff. I mean... imovie is okay if you don't know what you're doing... but... for things I want to do... I need... more advanced... more complex software. :P Blah. I also need to get my bro's shit off of my camera. Boo to him.

But the plan is... I don't speak to him. Ever. Until he talks to me, if he gets the balls to do it. And then I will reply that I left his poems out in the rain... for the 5 days it rained and then burned them. No I won't. Because I don't want them. I do however, really want to burn them, because the world doesn't need more shit... but... they are not mine and I would feel insanely guilty even if he is a nutcase.

But anyway... so yeah. Uninspired, tired, not terribly lonely... :P, and... dreading the 12th of October. :P Except not dreading it... because... it's my bday. Which = presents. And if you weren't aware already, yeah, I'm a greedy little bastard.

Ohhh my. He's not be right back anymore. But oh, look at that. He's being blocked. what a shame. :P I like dragging things out if the other party insists that it be that way. I will prolong it as long as I deem fit. Indeed. Good night.

It didn't post when I wrote it. i wrote this at like 630 ish? No. yeah. Heh. BAH.

Monday, September 25, 2006

You have GOT to be kidding me.

So I was like hmm. I wonder if anyone's deleted me from msn... so I checked the little priviacy>view thingy... and... apparently collin has added me back. Psh. Probably wants his goddamn poems. Well guess what? I'll add you back, bitch. But only so's I can block you forever. :) Actually no. Lord knows I do NOT want those things... had a good chuckle at em... but... I really want them out of my life. Now techically I don't really have to see him again. I just have to... uh... hmm. Find out where he lives, driver half an hour there, and chuck em at his fucking house with a couple eggs. :P

This is all a pretty bad idea, but whatever. Yes, he's insane. I know. I won't let him trick me again. :P

Lightwave... and other things.

We finally started lightwave in class today. BOUT TIME! Grrr. We were supposed to start it a week ago. Bah. Anyway.

It's a program for building things in 3d. It's très exciting. Indeedy.

After school, walked across the bridge with Pete. Had a nice chat. He gave me a piece of gum. Haha. Um. I ate a lot on the weekend and am feeling supa fat. And it totally shows. Sigh. So walking was a little more of a chore than it usually is. Blah. I don't... I dunno. Something's totally wrong with me. And I need more self-control, I guess. :P

My mother says I should go see a doctor about my thyroid because my hair always falls out... not that I'm balding or anything... I'm not. It just... doesn't... stay in. For long. Well I mean... whatever. Shawna's used to do the same... I thought I got it from her or something. :P But nope. I dunno. Maybe. Maybe it was some weird creepy infection... heh. Um. So yeah... I'll go deal with that sometime. But probably not. Doctors... hmm. Not that I'm scared of them, I'm not. I just... I dunno. It's terribly inconvenient, especially if there is something wrong. I do not want half of my thyroid taken out and have staples on my neck like my mother did. Ew. Frankenstein. But I guess it would be a good excuse for not having a job... hmmmm... haha. Bah.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Here's a riddle for ya...

Wanna know a weird story?

I was talking on the phone to my dad this evening... meanwhile my mother's in the kitchen and all of a sudden she starts choking or feta cheese of all things... I held the phone to my ear basically watching my mother choke, not listening to my dad... just... watching her. And after she turned out to be all right I still had the phone at my ear, and found myself wanting to punch her. Really hard. I told her to never do that again. I was really mad at her.. I don't want her to die... that would suck so insanely much. I told her if she died I'd have to kill myself or something, and she was like well don't do that... that would be a waste of my money... and I was like cuz Chris will spend it all? And she was like.. haha... yeah...

It was weird. So... yeah. Clearly I need to not just stand there next time. I'm glad she was all right. but like.. what would I have done if she didn't... fix it... god she's so dumb. :P I'm planning on being a recluse this weekend. I need it. I need to read some books. Or write something. Or... make a video all my own. I had so many ideas while brainstorming with my group about what we were gonna do... didn't share them though, cuz they were too weird. :P Weirder than a documentary about the crust end of the bread? Yes. Weirder than that. I know. Ah.

Oh, I should so go watch serenity. Or some episodes of firefly. Yeaahhhh... mmm. Or Spaceballs. Oh man, when I was talking to kevin he linked me to this article about them coming out with a spaceballs the animated series show! Ahhh! So excited. I hope I know him next year (don't see why I wouldn't...) but.. he pirates things. And I don't feel right doing that... :P so I could just yoink episodes from him. Baha. Indeed.

Well. I think I'm going to that wedding by myself next weekend. Cuz I haven't asked anyone to go with me. Ah well. Whatevs I guess.

I meant to phone Val before yesterday, but... didn't. And now I feel bad. I wonder if she thinks I forgot shawna's birthday. If she does she has to be insane, because I will never forget her birthday. Ever. I've known it too long... heh. Sucks, don't it? Yeah. But oh well.

Gordon Lightfoot concert is soon... I'm looking forward to it. It's gonna be excellent... and I'll probably cry because he's so amazing. :P I feel like going driving... but I did that last night with Mandy. And Ian called in the middle of it... god, he's clingy. I'm glad he didn't like me. :P I think he must have some sort of... self...esteem issues or something. Maybe. I dunno. But really. Clingy sickens me. I don't know how mandy puts up with it. I guess cuz he's cute. Meh. But whatever. I don't care.

I want Dean Cain to come sweep me off my feet. Apparently I'm incredibly charming on msn... :P so if I could just get his email... sigh. :P I really should get off the 40 year old guy... but... his name is dean. I've always had a thing for the name dean. Same with the name spencer. ;) But seriously. This kid named spencer at school... had the biggest crush on him... until I heard him speak. :P He talked too much... about... non important things. Haha. Same with one kid in elementary named Farley. I was like oh wow. Farley... hehe. And now he turns out to be a friend of dean, wes's friend... he came to edmonton with us. And yeah. Small world. I guess. I have a thing for that Dean too. He's so beautiful. Sigh. :P I used to... yeah. Haha. nevermind. I'm so creepy. Hehe.

No, what I should go watch is the first episode of 90210 which I've never seen but taped, and hopefully it hasn't been taped over... and I need to watch that other movie I taped... killer klowns from outer space... i saw the last 45 minutes one other time, but wanted to see the beginning. It's SO BAD. Oh em gee. :P Uhhhmm... yeah, that's it.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Riddle - Five for Fighting

I'm not sick of this song yet. This is like the sixth time in a row... I think...

It was at the end of the season premiere of criminal minds *squee*. Except that show is starting to act like it's all... I dunno. I don't like any of the characters, basically, but I love mandy patinkin. :P Well... I dunno... some of the characters are all right, but I still don't really get any of them. Their personalites are all over the place... I guess is what I'm trying to say.

But anyway.

I should be watching 90210 right now, but I'm talking to Kevin... oh god, I'm missing a show for a boy. :P Well... honestly I'm sort of getting sick of 90210 too. Can't wait for the episode when Brenda leaves.

Um. Hmm... what else... uhhhmmmm... apparently, it's *hopefully* some kind of girl's night tonight... going cruising in my new car with my two best buds. Whom are girls. Haha. Maybe wesley too if he's not busy, but I dunno. I'm sort of doubting it'll actually happen though. Dunno why. Plans always fall through though. Oh well. I really need to have a shower, because I smell somethin' fierce. :P Should wash this sweater. Hehe. Ew.

In conclusion: I'm watching too much tv. And therefore need to read some good books. Or write stuff. About The Gathering. Oh man. It's gonna be the best movie ever. :P Jessica's so gonna be second in command on that project.. if she wants to be that is. Cuz she was there helping it along in birth. Hahaha. I'm gonna shut up. And maybe go watch the last half hour of 90210. I should. Kevin's not THAT interesting now that I can't buy every tv show on dvd that I want.

By the way... my birthday's coming up and season 3 of arrested development is out... hahahha. sigh. :P

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Whee...

So I was listening to this song that makes me think... and.. I was like hmm. I haven't stalked anyone for a while. Mainly cuz I really don't care. But I figured I'd check. :P So then I signed into my account after I checked up on everyone.. and the last person who looked at my profile was collin. Two days ago. Like fuck off. Asshole. Ew. He's so creepy... like... more creepy than I am. So... that's not cool. He probably wants his poems back... but that's not gonna happen. Mandy and I are going to burn them. It's gonna be fun. :P But I will probably feel really bad after... even though I emailed him and asked him if he wanted them back, but he didn't answer it.. so I take that as a ... a sign. :P

Good day at school today... my video project group is pretty awesome actually. Yeah. I can't really believe I haven't socialized with these people more... but I do like to stick to... myself. And a-thing. :P But meh. I'll probably talk to them more now. Now that I'm almost done school... bah. Oh well. Talked to Pete quite a bit today... mainly cuz I was too excited about my car to work, so kept turning away from the computer looking at other people... heh. Seriously though, I couldn't get to sleep last night. I kept thinking of things I should do. I sorted my money... I need a new book to read, that's the thing. I finished The Accidental Tourist, and it was SO good. I'm really glad I read it. Yeah. Sigh. Um. Oh... well I guess I could read V for Vendetta... the graphic novel my brother leant me... cuz we watched the movie. He read it before he watched it... I still enjoyed it although I didn't know the whole story, but it's not that hard to follow. I'm really tired. Hmm. I actually haven't thought about boys or anything in a couple days. Up until now. :P Oh the things we associate with music... anyway. Peace.

Katy gots a Toyota Echo. Oy oy


I got a new car! Well.. new to me... but fairly new. An 05 Echo. Woo!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

So. Hm. I was talking to mandy on msn... and... I told her Shawna's birthday is on thursday and I dunno what I'm gonna do... and then I started crying. A lot. I guess it didn't totally hit me til just then that... she would be turning 20. She never turned 19. Omg. Like... how fucking sad IS THAT? She was just a kid. Ugh. Why the hell am I still here, is what I always ask when I think about it. I was sure I would die 3 weeks after her. But only cuz our birthdays were 3 weeks apart. i was all sketched out and stuff. Sorta glad I didn't... but... not. I dunno. It's still so hard to deal with.

But mandy said that if she's not working thursday we'd hang out. Go swing on the swings. Just us. Thank god. I can't cry in front of Ian. :P Not that I enjoy crying in front of her... but...

I've decided to wait until Dean Cain realizes that he loves me to date again. Hahaha. :P First I have to meet him though... which will never happen. So I guess celebacy is the answer. I'm not totally okay with that... but... he's so worth it. Omg, I'm so kidding. Haha. Well.. this whole paragraph... kidding.

But isn't he dreamy? Yes. He is.

Anyway... um... hmm.

I just remembered when my grandma died, my mom came into the living room and I was like what? Are you crying?! And she was like grandma's dead... and I was like oh... and gave her a hug. I milked that one for all it was worth. Didn't go to school the next day... my brother was pissed about that... hehe. I was in grade 8 then. Bro in grade 12. Yeah.

Whee, death. What fun, hey? Mhm. I'm gonna go watch another episode of Firefly. I love that show... so much. Kevin sorta introduced it to me... which is why I sorta love him. :P But not really... more in a friend way I think. Maybe not though... beats me. I've decided not to care anymore. Boys are just fucking stupid.

Collin added mandy to msn, so she keeps giving me the play by play... it's hilarious really. He thinks he has a shot with her or something. Um. She's basically engaged. But not. :P To Ian... yeah. Meh? I'm gonna be alone forever. Oh well. Or I should lower my standards even more... which would be truly sad. Hahahaha.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Man...

So. Today. Well... no last night. I tried talking to collin, and I was gonna ask if he wanted his fuckin poems back. But I didn't. Instead I said yeah, nevermind... i'll talk to ya later. bye. i mean cya. (he once told me i shouldn't say bye... bye means you won't see them again. Ha.) And then he said okay. bye. So I said bye again cuz I was all ooo it's on! :P And then 10 minutes later he blocked AND deleted me. :P Jackass. So yeah. Uh... guess he's not getting them back. I should post them somewhere... :P except I really don't need to spread them all over the place. They're too shitty.

But anyway. Oh. The shooting in Montreal. Scary. I thought I dreamed it... sort of... they mentioned that he called himself the angel of death... I thought that was just in my head. I had the radio on when I fell asleep and woke up to that... amazingly that horrible information didn't make me sit up in my bed and say what the hell is wrong with this world... instead i stayed in bed til 8. ... so naturally when I got home this evening... I looked up articles on it. Because I'm... fascinated with things like that... not that... oh man. that sounded wrong. So wrong. I guess... massacres in general, and WHY they happen fascinate me... yeah, I'd sorta consider that a massacre. I guess. Shell Lake was considered one. I got this book out from the library about that one time, and my mom was so freaked out, cuz when that happened, she was so scared that he would come kill her... it's scary shit. But... crazy. And... I dunno. I'm fucked up.

Oh yeah, I don't think I wanna go on the pub crawl tomorrow... I didn't buy a ticket yet, so I'm not commited... as of right now. But if she asks, depends how i fell i'll either buy two or not. I dunno. If I don't post tomorrow... but technically it is Friday... so... happy birthday Jaimie! Ahh! Hehehehe. Hope ya have a great day! Woo. Alrighty. Cya.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

So... I phoned Mandy up and was all... wanna go on a pub crawl with me Friday? And she was like sure! I can't really afford it, but okay! Haha... so I dunno how exactly that's all gonna work out... meh. :P So yes. Now I have to buy tickets, tomorrow, and then... I have to go, cuz I'll have tickets. But I guess if Mandy changes her mind I could always just drag Dave along. Yeah. That'd work.

My site sucks! Gah! It's due to-fucking-morrow! ARGH. I did a bunch of tutorials today, cuz I wanna be done the book so I don't put my group behind on our little... video project... which we have yet to even discuss. Hm. Whatever...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

190...th post. Geez...

I should save my 200th post for my birthday. Ha. Probably won't though. Depends how much I have to say... Probably won't be much. Ugh!

My site is sucking... and I have no idea how to make it not... suck.

Blah.

I was watching 90210 today, and it made me cry... :P It does that sometimes... well it was the one with Dylan's dad's funeral... and... Dylan comforts his 13 year old self... geez. And this sad song was playing, and I was all man, I wish I was crazy and could comfort myself... blah. Whatever... haha.

But anyway... um. I don't know. This girl in my class has organized a pub crawl on friday, and invited me, but I'm all... ehhh... I dunno. Cuz they're going to bars I've never even heard of, and one I have but it's like a country bar. I'd rather just... not socialize with a bunch of strangers. Ha. :P Which is probably why I can't meet people in real life, but whatever.

Oh. I walked with Pete across the bridge this morning. We met up on it... and yeah. Had a good chat... I guess. Meh. I came off as talkative, I think. Oh well. Heh... I dunno.

I ate too much pizza this evening with my brother. We watched a movie. He got an editing job. I'm so excited for him. And jealous. :P Not that I'd be good at that... heh. I dunno. But yeah. It's about time things turned around for him... being 23 and a half... and all.

So my brother's not going to Riley's wedding in like... two weeks? Ugh. So I dunno who I'm gonna sit with now... I guess I could bring a friend... but who? Wes works weekends... dang... Mandy? She might be working... hmm. I wish I had more friends... I don't think Jessica will go with me... she doesn't love me enough. :P I suppose I could ask friend dave... but... I don't really want to. Haha. Just cuz... yeah. I dunno. My dad might be all... who IS he??!! It would just be stupid. Cuz when dad drove me home when i had to take the car to his place... he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. So yeah. I dunno... I don't talk to my dad. About anything. I tried to talk about Shawna a couple times with him... and... money that he had had for her... but... he just denies. Constantly. I told my mom and she says she doesn't think he asked val either. So... yeah. I haven't brought it up since.

But anyway... I'll be posting on Friday to say happy bday to Jaimie... oh my goodness, I had no idea it was almost your birthday... geez! I woulda got you a present but... uh... :P My friendship is enough, isn't it? Hahahaha. :P But yeah.

Life is sorta suckin. And dave just wants to paruse broadway on friday... which I might do with him... but I dunno. It'd be fun, but it's supposed to be really, really cold. Like... almost winter cold. Whee! Can't wait for snow. Seriously. I can't. I've always disliked summer somethin fierce... :P

Oh. Did you know that it's MY birthday in exactly a month? Crazy... and sad. And two decades old. Geez. How sad is that?! Blah. Where's Kevin... he hasn't been online since I almost professed my love to him. Haha. No... I didn't... but you know. I bugged him for like 4 days in a row. And then he disappeared... hmm. :P That should tell me something... probably. Oh well.

Monday, September 11, 2006

All right... this is the last bit I will say about Collin. Until it comes up again.

I believe that he really did like me. I believe he knew I didn't like him. He wanted to try to hurt me with words before I could do so to him... I already totally turned him down without words though. you know it, I know it. Yeah.

He's so heartbroken. And psychotic. Haha.

K, that's it. I just needed to write that down for my own purposes.

Mother fucker...

My predicament: apparently Collin has a new email address... he's still on my msn... and no, he's not blocked anymore. We have an understanding. Don't talk to me. Ha.

But anyway... do I add his new email? the answer? No. If he wants his damn poems back he can figure out how to get a hold of me. In a non-stalkery way I HOPE! Ugh. What a douche.



In other news: My website is due on thursday. i really should have worked on it a bit tonight, but I haven't a clue how to make it better... I mean... it's WAY better than it was before I took it over... but... meh?

but yeah, that's totallly one of my pet peeves. When people put their new email as their msn name and expect people to add them... instead of just switching everyone over. God. So annoying. Mandy did that too... like... you're the one who changed it, obviously there's people you don't wanna talk to... just do it yourself.

Wow, how does he get under my skin so? Probably because he's a fucking retard. And I have no idea why I... tried to convince myself I liked him... again. Hahahaha.

Oh well.

And that's why I don't change my email. It's too much work... and I have a lot of saved emails and don't want to abandon my email. Yeah... I'm creepy. :P Bah.

I think all I have to do for my site is just add pictures... but how? in what way? which ones? OH GOOD LORD! Shit. Whatever, I'll figure it out. I guess. Sigh.

Maybe I should just block him. And never speak to him again. Haha. Wow, is this really bitterness? It can't be. I had no feelings for him... well I must have a little cuz I kissed him... but I just wanted him to leave... seriously. Fucker. Whatevs. I'm exhausted of dealing with things... and stuff. And Pete is growing some kind of beard and it's so not appealing. :P Hahahaha.

K. Stop thinking about boys.

Not that anyone needs to know, but... my visits are a lot less painful now... I can't figure out why. My mom says it's because I lost all that weight... but... they're so much more bearable. I love it. Haha. Well, I don't love it, but I love not writhing on the couch in pain... it's nice. And yes. So yay for that, yay for gonna make a movie with some classmates... yay for... being free, maybe forever(!), and... yay for... sweet delicious cheese. :P Well, it's not sweet, but you know what I mean. Done.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Quizzes... cuz I'm bored.

You Are An Iris

You are a unique woman who needs a lot of novelty in her life.
An inspiration seeker, you often have to change scenery to recharge.
You don't deal well with structure or rules. You need to do it your own way.
Your ideal relationships are free and flowing. No one can tie you down.


Your Life is Like

Grosse Pointe Blank

Is it ironic that that's the movie Collin and I watched last night? I heart John Cusack. :P I also heart quizzes.

You Are A Bad Date!

Sometimes it just seems like your heart isn't in it

At least, not unless the guy is a dead ringer for Brad Pitt (with more money)

You just don't spend enough time wondering if he's having fun...

And newsflash - he probably isn't!

Ahahahahahaha. So true. :P I told you all I'm a jerk... meh.

You Are 36% Bitchy

You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts.
Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!


Oh, apparently, I have the same bra size as Angelina Jolie. I was a little... uh... taken aback. :P I was like whoa. Really?! No way. But... meh. There was some quiz called who's your celebrity boob twin... ha. Sick. :P

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Weeks

You're out enough to meet plenty of guys
And it shows, because a few are interested in you
Even if you haven't meet the right guy yet
He's standing just around the corner :-)

Hahahaha. Yeah right. Unless I ask out Pete or something. Which maybe is what they mean? Holy crap, I need to stop thinking about boys. I mean, damn!

You Are 59% Independent

Overall, you're a pretty independent woman. You don't follow trends just to fit in.
You've got your own cool thing going on, though you sometimes still care too much about what other's think.

That didn't make me feel too much better. Hmm. Whatever. I need to go to bed.

Ramblings.

You know what I just realized? A year ago today, I was sitting in New Brunswick drinking a mudslide with my stepmother... reminiscing about Shawna... heh.

Man. I haven't thought about her in a while.

I just remembered because I'm listening to an old mix cd from last year... and 'Wake me up when september ends' is on it. And while I was in NB I would lay on Shawna's floor, listening to this song and cry. :P Her birthday's in September... that's why I... it reminds me of her.

And yeah... wow. Heh.

I started watching A Goofy Movie earlier... I should go finish it so I don't get sad.

Wes stopped by... took me for a short drive. It was fun. Yeah. Didn't really say much. Just listened to music and drove around. For like 15 minutes. Hehe.

I might be going to the lake tomorrow... I think. Probably. Maybe. Blah.

Oh, wouldn't it be cool if I could play 'Don't Stop Believin' on the accordion? Hahahaha. Shit, that would rock. So. Hard. :P

It's my friend Dave's bday today... he didn't really do anything. I asked if I could go over or something, but he said he didn't really feel like playing host, not that he'd have to really, but then he said he was going over to Tony's. Sigh. Tony. :P Used to have the HUGEsT crush on him... haha. He's still awesome... I dunno. Anyway, dave asked me if I wanted to go too, but I was like nah, you're probably gonna do naughty things like drugs so you go have fun... heh. :P I was talking to tony last night and apparently he bought drugs. Yeah. :P Whatever. But I think Tony lives with Braden, but I'm not sure, but... man. I've known braden since I was in grade 1. :P Didn't like him all that much til about grade 7. Yeah. Heh. But it woulda been nice to catch up with him... hm. Oh well... another time. Hopefully. Yeah... Damn it, why didn't I go? Bah. :P

Friday, September 08, 2006

Oh, good lord...

Hmm. For some reason I can't breathe.

I think when I was KISSING collin, I forgot to breathe... which is why my lungs hurt.

Damn, are kisses always that wet? Jesus. If they are... but it was sorta nice. Even if I don't think I like him that much. Haha.

I am a huge asshole. :P

But anyway, Wes was over using my computer (his is dead) while Collin was here, and after Collin left, I went downstairs to sit with wes... and he was like... Where's Collin? And I was like he's gone. And he was like good. You can do better. And I was like probably... this is just an experiment.

:P

My mother doesn't like him either. Because he was stalking me that one day. Haha.

I dunno. He FARTED ON MY CHAIR. Okay. I think he thinks I didn't notice, but I did, and saw him mouth 'excuse me'. Blah. And that other time he had a crap in my toilet... man. He is obviously too gassy for me. And kinda gross. Bowling was okay, I guess. Expensive... holy crap. Ha. He paid though so it was all good. :P I won one game... yeah... we played three.

Umm... hmm. So yes. Oh thank god, he doesn't 'feel any sorta deep connection' to me. Yess. Then I fired a that's what I was thinking back at him. We're talking on msn.

Thank god. The ordeal is over. I just didn't have the heart to do it. Hahahah. Yes. Now... where's Kevy at? :P Haha... sigh.

In conclusion: I am SO FUCKING RELIEVED. Yay. No more dates for a while... unless it's with kevin. And we're going to a movie. Before he moves away... if he does... sigh. :P NO WAIT. There's always Pete... hmm. Ooo, yeah I should totallly hop on that train. :P Not that.. he's a train.

Yes. I'm so glad. Now I can go ahead and be a huge bitch to Collin like he deserved the first time he put me through this. Except now, I sorta rejected him because apparently the kiss was 'very jerky and fast'. LMAO. Maybe cuz I don't know how to do it... and B, I don't really like him... YAY REVELATIONS!

But yeah. Hmm. Perhaps I am a bit bitter. But he's kinda boring. I want someone interesting... and WHO SWEARS. Oh thank god. I would not have been able to go through life without saying fuck every second word, I don't think. Well, I don't actually do that now... but.. ya know. I don't like walking on eggshells.

Plus he's gross. And I don't like him.

Yeah it'd be neat to have someone to lug around places but... meh. Clingy guys are not cool. And he seems like a clinger. I like how he tries to hurt me before I can to him though. He totally knew I wasn't all that into him... meh. Cuz when he was holding me... ugh... I was like tapping my fingers on his fat back... :P (ooo, now I'm just being mean, oh well) and like.. he knew I was not interested. I TURNED HIM DOWN WITHOUT USING WORDS. That's how I roll.

It's all in the finger tappin' baby. Hahahaha.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Oh, Katy! Geez.... gross.

I am so disgusted with myself.

I like Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back song. Tisk tisk.

It's just it was on the radio when I was driving my car home (all fixed!) tonight... so I guess I now associate it with that... plus I was so happy when I was driving it.. yeah. Meh.

I need to make up for it somehow... hmm. Tomorrow I'll listen to some uh... ACDC. :P I should get a cd of theirs... they totally rock. Gah...

Oh, apparently, Collin and I are going bowling tomorrow night. :P

Should be... uh.. interesting. I will uh... update tomorrow night... most likely. Fill all ya'll in. Ah. I said ya'll. Hmm. Oh well.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Effing monumental.

Collin hasn't signed into that site all day.

And I should totally stop stalking these people. :P


[Edit: Yeah, nevermind. :P] Hahahahahahahaha. Oh man. Bah... Shouldn't have expected anything else... Heh. :P

Stuff and junk...

Ha. Victory is mine! Dave has unblocked me. I win. And now I'm not speaking to him. Until he speaks to me. :P

Yeah. That's just the way the world works now.

You beg and beg until they do as you wish, then you ignore them. Until approached first. Indeed.... or whatever.

I'm insane.

I have no car anymore. Well... for a day... or two... or three :S. Getting a new window in. Yessss.

I didn't wake up early enough this morning... my dream was too good. It was dave apologizing and telling me how awesome my flash was. lmao. :P The dave who had me blocked... not coffee guy. Whom I don't really talk to anymore... although I should ask him how school's going... hmm. Meh.

But whatever. I might be hanging out with Amy tomorrow... maybe. She's supposed to phone me tonight. Ack. She's in university now! OMG! I've known that girl since she was in grade 5... and I was in grade 6. Same class. She looked like she'd make a good friend so I... befriended her... yeah. Hehehe. We were so cool back then. Anyway...

So yeeaahh... apparently she's all set in her mother's basement... ooolala.

But yes. I wanna talk to dave like so bad... but I can't. I mustn't. He was being too big of a baby. :P Whatever... Who's the baby now though? Hmmm. Whatever. Not talk to him. Block me, will you...

Oh right. I think I'm starting to get a crush on Pete again. The guy in my class. :P He's just really nice... and he was like moving my chair... and... it was kinda cute... but yeah. Can't think about it... cuz for some reason Collin really likes me... I think he may think he has me wrapped around his little finger, which he doesn't. I don't think... hmm. I should re-evaluate that. Whatevs.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Move Your Dead Bones

I listened to 'Move Your Dead Bones' allllll day at school. :P I like it too much. It's so dancy and catchy... and hilarious. :P I used it at the end of my flash... heh. I recorded it from the movie disc... hmm... I tried to dl it, but couldn't find it... so I made it a wav. :P Instead of mp3... cuz my free program thing wouldn't make it an mp3... so I was all whatever... but yeah. Anydangway...

Last night I was reading (it's an on-going read) The Accidental Tourist. And I came across the name Dana Scully. And I was like whoa. Wait a sec. Wasn't that an agent in X-Files? I double checked with my mother today, even though I knew it was true but yeah. Mulder and Scully. Mulder. Fox Mulder. FOX... is such a fox. Anyway... I remember what I was gonna say about X-Files. The only episode I remember is the one with the half a guy who rolled around on a squeaky rolley thing... and grabbed at people and like ate them or something. That freaked the hell out of me. I think I remember it cuz Mindy talked to me about it the day after it was on... at school... gah. Oh Mindy. Heh. "Why don't you and your cool friends go live in a stump?!". Yeah. She was the source of too much um... too many jokes. I feel bad... bah.

So yeah. That was weird. Is that where they got it from? I mean, it's sort of a bizarre name... to me. But I live in Saskatchewan... however, Saskatchewan is a weird 'name' and not many people who don't live here can say it properly... I remember on an episode of Full House, Bob Saget tried to say it... it was horrible. But yes.

Uhhh... I dunno what's a happenin' with me and collin. Meh. We both like each other, but are freaked out, I guess. At least he says he likes me... and I try to think about other things, but then I think about how neat it would be to have someone to drag places. Not that I really go anywhere... but you know. :P And then I think about how he laughs at my jokes... and knows when I'm kidding. And it's sort of nice... I dunno. He's really growing on me... bah.

Yeah. I'm weird. I finished my flashes. I really hope I get a good mark... gah. Took way too long. But I was really REALLY getting the hang of flash by the end of it... which is always helpful... when you're done the project, you know how to do it more efficiently... but whatever. Who cares.

Ummm... Dave still has me blocked. He's being such a goddamn baby. I don't get it... his birthday's on Saturday though... I wanted to go drinking... but alas. He'll have new friends to do that with, I guess. Meh. I probably wouldn't go anyway.. heh. but I might. Drinks are always nice. Indeed.

But uh... yes. In conclusion: today was fine. And now I'm going to go read more of that book, because Collin isn't online anymore... even though he said he'd be. But whatever. It's not like I can't talk to him some other time.

Gah. Getting attached much? No. Just... blah. Forget it. Heh.

Monday, September 04, 2006

I'm dumb...

But for some reason, I sorta like Collin.

I'm giving him another chance. Maybe cuz I'm somewhat lonely, maybe cuz I just wanna see what a crappy girlfriend I'll be... I dunno. I was joking about the last part. Sorta... yeah.

I dunno. He's kinda sweet, he just can't communicate very well. But I'm a fairly patient person, and... he did just get out of a fairly long relationship. Meh?

Call me an idiot, because I am, but whatever.

I just think it'll... be a good story for later. I don't have enough stories.

Or maybe I genuinely like him, for some bizarre reason. I think I like people who treat me like crap. That's not good... hmm. Well, we shall see.

Hopefully I'll be the one doing the breakin up this time around. Heh. Well... not hopefully... but if it happens... it better be me. Or whatever. I could just say it is. Hmm. I dunno what I'm saying anymore.

He just really, really seems to like me. And so... who am I to deny him of my awesome company?

:::::::::::::::::::

But in other news, my one friend Dave is being the biggest baby. Goddamn. He blocked me at around 3ish today... and hasn't unblocked me yet. It's all because mandy was over last night fiddling around on my msn, and she was talking to him (she hates him) and they were like... fighting and... whatever. And then today he said "Hi. Ummm..." to me... so I said what?... and he said oh, it's still mandy. nvm. And I said no it's not. And he said fuck you. And I said this is katy! And he said seriously. fuck you. So I said fine. bye. and he blocked me. So whatever. He's like 2 years older than me too, you'd think he'd grow up already. Geez. Whatever. He will eventually unblock me and all will be right with the world, again.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Decipher this!

All right. I know I probably said something along the lines of I would never talk about Collin again. Well... whatever. For some reason that is beyond me I still talk to him... and he actually came over this evening and we watched a movie.

But anyway... here's the msn conversation after the movie. Okay. See if you can decipher this goddamn boy code. :P

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:14:56 AM)
hey there katy

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:15:22 AM)
hey there collin

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:15:25 AM)
suuup?

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:15:54 AM)
not bad it was good seeing you tonite

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:16:37 AM)
yeah

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:16:53 AM)
did you like the movie? ...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:17:15 AM)
it definately made me loosen up alittle

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:17:38 AM)
heh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:19:37 AM)
honestly katy i dunno whats going on with me.....i'm all over the place.....i'm looking for somewhere or someone to help me find who i am.....and i'm just very confused right now.....

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:19:50 AM)
if i have seemed to be acting weird lately

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:21:19 AM)
okay

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:21:52 AM)
i'm sorry if i've made you feel like i don't want to see you

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:22:35 AM)
no, i don't think i thought that...

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:22:36 AM)
meh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:24:32 AM)
honestly if you had more confidence and saying collin i'm the best girl you'll ever meet....i'd probaly believe you on that...

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:26:14 AM)
well i dunno

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:26:18 AM)
wait, what?...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:28:04 AM)
i'm not counting you out of who i want in my life ....by saying that....i want to know how you feel about how you see me

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:29:44 AM)
what do you mean?... 

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:30:20 AM)
how do you feel when you see me or are around me

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:31:43 AM)
hmm... good?... i dunno. not really any different than when i'm by myself. i enjoy being by myself... by the way... yeah...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:32:25 AM)
no thats all i was wondering

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:32:59 AM)
why?...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:33:59 AM)
take a guess

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:36:27 AM)
well i'm... i mean i like hanging out with you and stuff... i just thought we were gonna be friends though. i don't wanna like... rush into anything with you, because... i really... i dunno. you may feel lonely but i... hmm. yeah. we sorta tried that already. and. it didn't work. but you need time and i wanna give that to you. so i'm sort of... trying to keep my distance a little i guess...?

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:36:36 AM)
i really hope that's what you meant... oh god. 

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:37:20 AM)
lol......i just want to see how comfortable you are around me

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:37:41 AM)
haha. crap. 

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:37:44 AM)
i'm fine.

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:38:21 AM)
no katy....i honestly can stop thinking of you....

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:38:36 AM)
can't

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:38:38 AM)
bah

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:38:40 AM)
haha

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:38:49 AM)
dunno why...

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:39:04 AM)
you're probably just lonely... or maybe i'm just that awesome... i really don't know

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:39:17 AM)
probaly alittle of both

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:39:29 AM)
heh

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:40:02 AM)
yeah

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:40:49 AM)
and also i wanted to keep my options open and to make sure you are who i want in my life

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:41:25 AM)
...

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:41:37 AM)
k...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:42:14 AM)
i wanted to make sure you were the one that makes me the happiest out of anyone i meet

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:43:04 AM)
how many people are you meeting? 

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:43:06 AM)
heh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:43:42 AM)
i've probaly met like 3 girls....didn't go very well

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:44:15 AM)
that's too bad...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:44:27 AM)


Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:45:01 AM)
ya shucks (snaps fingers)

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:46:15 AM)
yeah... 

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:46:52 AM)
no yeah i want friends right now

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:47:02 AM)
yeah, i know

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:47:36 AM)
and if you are interested in dating i'll keep that in mind......and you'll be the one i get back to on that

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:47:58 AM)
lmao. um, right

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:48:09 AM)
... sorry...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:48:32 AM)
i think i'm saying too much or something.....fatigue

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:48:45 AM)
mhm... fatigue...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:48:56 AM)
i dunno

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:49:38 AM)
i find i'm getting dumber and dumber......

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:50:38 AM)
well i dunno. i'm sort of confused, i guess. if you just want to be my friend, which i totally agree with, why do you keep asking me how i feel about you?...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:51:40 AM)
i dunno i think it's an insurity issue of mine

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:51:51 AM)
oh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:51:57 AM)
insecurity*

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:52:03 AM)
heh, yeah... i knew what you meant

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:52:50 AM)
i try to make myself someone who you can be comfortable around

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:53:02 AM)
why don't you just be yourself?

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:53:33 AM)
no like i'm still within myself but to bring different things out

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:53:46 AM)
oh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:54:04 AM)
anywho i'm digging a pretty big hole....

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:54:14 AM)
heh, not that big...

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:54:17 AM)
but... meh

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:54:24 AM)
i'm still digging

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:54:28 AM)
which isn't good

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:55:27 AM)
well... sometimes you just confuse the crap outta me...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:55:43 AM)
i get that alot

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:56:10 AM)
i know what i want to say but it comes out in a different arrangement

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:56:17 AM)
yeah...

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:57:00 AM)
but ya i'm going to head to bed here....and ya.....try to get my head on straight tomorrow

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:57:01 AM)
lol

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:57:09 AM)
heh

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:57:10 AM)
alrighty

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:57:11 AM)
g'night

Collin~ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? says: (1:57:16 AM)
you have a good nite and take care katy

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:57:20 AM)
ditto

¤•~Kªty~•¤ says: (1:57:21 AM)
cya


"honestly if you had more confidence and saying collin i'm the best girl you'll ever meet....i'd probaly believe you on that..." and "and if you are interested in dating i'll keep that in mind......and you'll be the one i get back to on that". How in the fuck do those two things, that came from the same person, to the same person, fit together? Jesus. What the hell. Why do I still talk to this assface? I dunno. I've obviously got some unresolved issues. And low self confidence, that I think I deserve this sort of treatment. Being placed on the burner, if you will, just in case... not cool. Although that might be what I'm doing with Kevin... I don't mean to. He hasn't talk to me in a while... hmm. He probably bought that air hockey table though, and has his friends over... his friends. Hmm. I don't think I'd like to meet them. :P They seem jerkish. But most boys are, I'd have to say.

But yes. When I was talking to Collin I started to get a hankering for some Casper watching. Now, let me explain... whenever I want to watch that movie.. it means I'm sad. Like... super sad. Or getting sad. And... tears usuallly ensue. Luckily not this time though. Whew. My eyes are really heavy. Seeing as it's almost 230 in the ay em. Hmm. Goodnight. We'll talk about things tomorrow...

Oh, and "i'm sorry if i've made you feel like i don't want to see you"... what did he mean by this? See me in what way? I thought he meant friends... blah!

I wanna talk to Kevin... :P That probably means I like him, right? Or miss him... somewhat. I haven't seen him since x3. Hmm. He's way too nice to me. Why am I so nice to the assholes, but not to the sweethearts? Well, that's not totally true. Hmm. Whateva.

Friday, September 01, 2006

If this is how all of September is going to be...

I may as well just die now.

Today was bad.

Last night, someone broke the driver's side window in my car. Bastards. And guess who has to pay for it? Not daddy, like I had hoped... he showed no hint of maybe he would pay for it... nope. Me. I have. No money.

I hate. My life.

I stayed an hour after school today... then finally left, because I was making the TA stay longer than he probably wanted to... but he's a little bitch... so.. whatever. And that's what he's paid for... meh.

I think I'm nearing completion on my flashes... but stupid me, when I said I'd have them done Tuesday, I forgot it was a long weekend. I hate myself.

Good god.

Wes has had a bad week too. We're going to the liquor store after supper to purchase delicious wonderful magical alcohol to drown our sorrows. And pain.

Seriously though... fuck the world this month. It's gonna be shitty. Really shitty.
Blog tracker
eXTReMe Tracker