Holy shit, rant much?

This morning, Jordan was like oh, there's an update for my ps3... and he was like... oh, Katy, guess what it does now? And I'm like what? And he's like, it bends space and time. That's right. It's a time machine.

And I was like oh... can it take me back two and a half years?

And he was like why?

And I'm like... can you also make it take me to New Brunswick?

And he's like oh...

And I'm like I had a dream about her the other night... her mother got stabbed in her bed and shawna was still alive.

And he's like did you cry?

And I was like I was just confused. I was all... I thought you were dead, but now you're not and your mom is?

And then I started crying a little, cuz I said it like it wasn't a big deal. But it actually is and I didn't realize it til then. I miss her so much. It really, really sucks.

Jordan's going to toronto in like 3 weeks for a few days to see his family. Good for him. I don't know if he's going to make me go at xmas. I sort of want to go, but I'd rather go when gift giving isn't involved. Yeah...

But yeah. I really need to phone my stepmom. I miss her. I miss my sister too. I can't believe she's still harassing me in dreams. And crying on my shoulder and freaking out at me. It's so weird. And I miss giving her hugs. And... I dunno. Sometimes I really hate how life just goes on, you know? I mean... it's bullshit.

Oh, and I bought a burberry watch. Yep. Spent about 200 on it, which is cheap when compared to the ones on their site. :P And it's nice. And I'm happy with it.

But yeah. I really want life to just stop moving so fast and just.... flying by me, you know? I dunno... it's dumb. :P It was nice seeing her again... even though it was over such horrible, awful, incomprehensible circumstances. Stabbed. Blood everywhere. I'm surprised I didn't throw up... oh, no wait. I did. In real life. Mostly over my horrible, painful cramps though. I mean... cramps shouldn't make you throw up. I don't think... my stomch just gets so ... I dunno. I'm hoping since my weight is almost back to where it was when I met Jordan that it won't hurt anymore like before. That was a nice two months. :P Yeah...

But yes. I found my stepsister on facebook... that was weird... added her as a friend when I found her. :P We sort of talk... we never really did talk though... so that's what makes this kind of weird now. Like... she's my only "sister" now, though I'm not sure I ever really ... considered her one. Awful, I know. And she is like 6 years older than me... possibly 7. But she's funny... I guess... I really don't really know her. It's sad. I should go out there sometime. Probably next year... sigh. :P But yes. I need to get a hold of my stepmom. Just to talk. And tell her that I might have to start seeing someone about shawna... cuz shit, when I think about it now, it just makes me bawl, and I can't control it. Like now... :P Ridiculous. I hate summer. A lot.

But yeah. I think it would be good for me, but I don't really enjoy talking about it... obviously. It's just... like... I can't keep freaking out once or twice a month about it. Whenever I have a dream or ... well... whatever. I probably won't see anyone.

I think I'm going to get Jordan a watch for xmas. He says it's because I want him to stop wearing the $3000 one jess gave him... that's a bit of the reason. But really, I just... think it's old and I want him to wear something that I get him. I mean, I wore that ring for... 6 months?... but now I can't cuz it clashes with my watch. Yeah... the watch is that shiny. :P And it feels weird on my other hand. So yeah. I like it though.

Gawd, this was long. Sorry. Just... letting it out I guess.

But yeah... um... I'm done crying now, so that's good. I'm only like 3 chapters into harry potter. I had to finish the one before first... so yeah. And I cried and cried at that... that was even more ridiculous. :P I miss Dumbledore. :( Oh well.

and I totally got a 5 dollar off coupon on amazon, so I might order another book. But I don't know which one. I was thinking about getting the history of love... cuz Jaimie made it sound so interesting and cryey and stuff. :P I kind of like that in a book. But we'll see. K, I'm done now.

A tale of many things.

Yay, this is gonna be a good week.

I might by a burberry watch at Costco when I get paid from that job I didn't get paid for, but he sent the money so he wouldn't get sued. :P Awesome.

Cuz they're like totally expensive. Yeah...

But yeah... it'll be a good week cuz tomorrow I'm hanging out with Mandy and possible Jessica... and then Wednesday probably hanging out with jordan... and then on thursday I'm going over to Amy's for a bit and we're gonna watch a couple episodes of Undeclared. Cuz it kicks so much ass and we just rediscovered it. :P But yeah... we had a good chat... about how I can talk to her if anything's ever wrong... and i was like aw, thanks. And I told her she could do the same. And she told me how a while ago she was freaking out that she could be pregnant... but she's not so it's all good.

I was gonna tell her how I was joking around with Jordan on msn one day... the day i found out they were gonna send me my money... and I was like I got good news today.
and he's like what? And I"m like I'm pregnant. :P And he was like are you serious? And I'm like no... and he's like... okay... and I was like, except yeah... :P And he was like what? Stop it.

Like he believed me for two seconds. And he later told me that he told his friend he was kinda happy about it... just a little though. And his friend was like yeah? Why? And he's like cuz I have a good job, great girlfriend... etc. :P And I was like... there is no chance in hell if i were pregnant that I would keep it. No way. I'm not ready. Plus I'm too responsible to ever let that happen in the first place.

So yeah. Not htat I'd tell her that part. But yeah... I fuckin love that show and I'm so looking forward to Thursday.

Oh and I was talking to wesley and how jessica and I (and mandy if she comes) might go to Cranberry flats tomorrow... and he was like you should if she wants you to... cuz she's worried you don't get out enough. :P And I laughed and laughed... and I'm like... I get out... with my boyfriend. I don't stroll the bar scene. Cuz I'm not like that. I don't enjoy going to bars... I know I should go out once in a while though... it's just... I dunno... whatever. :P

Jordan and I went to Costco afte rhe got off work... oh my mother got herself and me a membership yesterday. And i saw Kevin there... 'member Kevin? I sure do. :P But yeah, he was there... he had harry potter in his cart. I couldn't find it at the two stores I went to and ordered it off amazon. Day after walked into walmart... loads of em. Then went to costco... even more loads for even cheaper. :P I was pissed.

But yeah. Had an awkward little chat there where he didn't say much and I sort of rambled... but whatever. :P And that's about it.

It felt like 43 degrees Celsius here today. No idea what that is in Fahrenheit. Something hot. Really hot. Gross hot. Yeah. that's it.

Amy wants to meet jordan and I'm not sure when that's going to happen... :P probably at the fringe... maybe... if he wants to go at all... i dunno.

He's gon' be 26... and my weekend.

It's Jordan's birthday tomorrow. I'm taking him out for supper. Yep.

26. Oh goodness. :P

Heh.

He might be getting a kitten this week... he gets his bonus cheque. So yeah. Maybe a kitty! hehe.

Um... gawd, I don't want to go to work tomorrow. It's so hot lately. I hate summer.

but yeah. That's about it.

I guess.

Went up to the lake yesterday, but it was ... disappointing so we came back.

Yeppers. That's it.

The watches I want... or just really like.

Negative/Positive Display: Black Gem

Boyfriend

Candy - Multi

Brown Geometric

Grey Geometric

East/West

Twist - Black Dial

Twist - Pink Mother of Pearl Dial



And I'm sure there are more... so expensive. :P But... watches :(. Mmmm. Pretty.

WATCHES!

So, today i was writing this transcript... and something about fossil fuels... oh right, SaskPower is trying to figure out what the source of our future electricity will be... anyway. Fossil. And I started thinking... hey... I need a new watch. A fossil watch would be awesome. So I went to the site and kept looking at it whenever i had a minute. They're so nice. I've found like ... a lot I want. :P They come in tins though! That's a selling feature to me. I enjoy tins... though I do nothing with them... but I mean, if i did get so many, I'd need to keep the watches in them. I get it. :P

So yeah. I don't recommend going to that site unless you want to waste two hours... or less... the thing is, I'm obsessed with clocks, and since I have too many, some would say, I'm looking at the smaller scale. :P I guess. Watches. Plus, I'm kind of sick of my fifteen dollar cheapass one. :P

It works... but it's still awful.

I bought some new clothes on the weekend. Two skirts I just love! And next Monday is Jordan's birthday and I'm taking him out for supper... so yeah. I'm going to wear one. And he'll adore it. And so will I. I have no idea where I'm taking him or where we're going. Probably the... ooo... the cave? I've never been there. But probably Moxie's... meh. :P

But yeah. watches are neato.

the site is fossil.com and I keep getting the urge to go back, but I've already looked at everything. Weird. They're nice though... I'm gonna go copy the pictures of the ones I like and post them. :P Haha. Nothing better to do... so ... yeah. Get ready for that. :P

updation

I'm pretty much dying cuz they haven't update postsecret yet. IT'S WEDNESDAY! :P...

Anyway... work is so awful lately cuz it's the same fucking news story all damn day. SAHO. Strike. Pah.

So I need to register for classes sometime, but there's so many I don't know what to choose. It sucks. And I clearly didn't think this through. Cuz now I'm thinking I want to be a physiotherapist, but like... I need a BA in something first... but what, eh? I don't know. English maybe? Maybe. I know I want to take an english... if that's any... help... which it isn't really. Sigh. I need a book of all the classes and what they are. yeah. They supposedly have them somewhere on campus and I could ask someone... but meh. Maybe tomorrow... or Friday.

Alanis Morissette singing my humps is just.. my favourite song right now. :P I love her.

We were gonna go see transformers last night, but of course, it was all sold out. So we didn't. Maybe this weekend. But I wanna go up to the lake sometime. Just for a sail. Jordan doesn't sail. Yeah, we're still together. :P almost 7 months. Weird.

His birthday is coming up. He's so old. :P And... I'm not getting him anything really... I'm just taking him out for supper. Hey, I already bought him a ps3. :P Half a ps3...

Meh. He's such a lucky bastard to have me. And he doesn't say that anymore. ... he should.

It sucks when the beginning happiness wears off. They say such nice things then... hmm.

Oh well. Fuck. 26 though? Really? Geez. Old man. :P Oh well. He hardly acts that age though. So it's all cool. I guess. Sometimes. It does bother me a bit... apparently. He says the age difference bothers him too. So like.. it's normal.

but it isn't normal to talk about your exes (still) all the time is it? Well... okay, it's not all the time. It's just whenever that stupid Shick commercial comes on and he's like.. .I hate this commercial. and I was like why? And he's like.. .well... you know, that happened to lindsay once. Slipped on it... burns... you wouldn't just get up from that.

And I'm like... holy christ. Who gives a shit. It's a commercial. But whatever. He loved her. I get that. But she's dead. Been dead for quite some time. Killed her dumb self. Moron. I'd never leave him like that... I just think that I love him more than he loves me sometimes. Which I don't find very appropriate. :P Why? Because... I'm awesome and people are supposed to love me. A lot. But oh well. He did say that he never wants to get rid of me the other night, and I kinda... was like... oh reallY? Don't want to get RID of me? Well, gee, that's awful nice of you. You know. Like a bitch. :P But seriously... he coulda said it better. Like... I wanna be with you forever or something cheesy like that. Sigh.

I haven't updated in forever, have I? Geez. I suck. :P Well... there ya go. This one was big.

key points:

• postsecret - I'm dying


• work sucks


• need to register for classes but don't know which


• My Humps by Alanis is great


• didn't see Transformers


• ranting about Jordan's birthday and his behavior :P


• I need to update more.