If you are chilly, here take my sweater...

Well... Jordan and I had yet another fight about social gatherings and... he's not coming out for dinner the day before my birthday with me, mandy and ian (which is kinda what I wanted... just cuz... I don't know. For some reason mandy and jordan seem to hate each other even though they don't know one another). I won't make them hang out 'til I live with him, I guess. :P Cuz... it'll be my house too and he won't have a choice. Whatever. She doesn't have to like him nor vice versa. They're not going out. I love him and that's what matters... and he loves me too. He told me about fifty times this evening. I'm not totally sure why that was... I guess he just does. I find myself reading his old blog posts that praise me. :P They're so nice and I'm just reminded (when I'm pissed off at him) how much I love him... how sweet he normally is. Whatever.

:P

But since he's not coming out to dinner, I'm not going to his work friend's barbecue. I'm so painfully agoraphobic lately. I don't know what it is... I just... can't get myself to go. I don't want to go. I'm so terrified of social situations and I really need to work on it. Badly. Like... I'm okay in forced situations, like school... but not on a voluntary basis like a barbecue. :P Know what I mean?

We're not discussing the issues anymore. If he ever tries to make me go to his other friend's house though for supper, I'm not going there either, cuz birthdays are big with me. And if he wants to be an ass, he can. So can I. And I will be. I already am. But we are going to Edmonton on my birthday... so it's not like he's being a total ass... or like we're not doing anything to celebrate it.. We're going shopping. :) I can't wait.

I can't wait 'til Sunday. I love when PostSecret is updated. I just love it so much. It's the best part of my day. :P I know that's kind of creepy, but... it really is. It's hard to think of a secret to send though. One that you wouldn't mind everyone seeing. But that's the glory that is postsecret. Indeed.

I'm working on a brochure for my mom. It's okay... I guess. :P

She's not paying me or anything, but I may get a printer for my birthday. A laser one. Colour. OH GAWD, YES. :P That would be so delicious. Cough.

So yeah, I'm going to work on that now. I guess.

bleh.

Stupid iPod nano commercial with their incessant Feist and her lovely tune. :P

So... I told Mandy that Jordan wants to buy a house... well.. that we want to buy a house perhaps in January. And she told wesley, apparently. :P But yeah... we do. I did tell my mother I want to live with him, but not necessarily that I want to purchase a house with the man. I kinda wanna wait 'til we've been together a year, you know? To tell her. Cuz she made a huge stink about how I shouldn't move in with someone I met off the internet. :P That was more than 9 months ago, guys. Can you believe it? Seriously... :P That's such a long time. Ah! :P But yes, I do want to buy a house with him. I just don't want to be in debt. I hate the real world. :P

Gawd, I really don't want to work tomorrow. I just don't. Really. Sigh.

But yeah.... ummm... hmm.

That sucks that they don't have any night classes for bio next term. BLAH. Really sucks. Like, totally.

My gawd... it's less than a month and I'll be effin' 21. That's nuts. I told Jordan he could get me a new purse, since he seems to think i need a new one. He's quite the material possesion-ish man. It's a little odd, but I kinda like it, cuz I'm pretty much the same way... but more with movies... well... not so much that anymore. I noticed the other day that I have quite a few shoes. :P But he's good 'cuz he's making me do my homework and stuff... and I need that. Bad. I'm such a slacker. I had a nap both Sat and Sun after I finished reading a few chapters for anthropology. Gawd, that class is kinda dumb and bullshitty. Ridiculous, even. But the book's pretty good. Quite interesting. A lot of the people that live in Canar are my height. :P And they eat guinea pigs and seem to like their potatoes. Cuz they can't grow much there? I guess... it's like.. .in the Andes of Ecuador. Yeah, neat book.

I am so not looking forward to this essay that I have to write. Starting tomorrow. Cuz tonight, I'm just chillin. :P

Fuck that.

I feel like the biggest fucking tard right now. I mean... and I don't really know why. Well, I do, but it's not entirely my fault. Okay, it is.

I got my first parking ticket ever! That's exciting, isn't it? It's cuz I can't read! And I'm trying to succeed in university, am i? ReallY? Well... stupid mother, telling me to drive instead of take the bus. PSH. Bitch. Whatever. I'm just not going to listen to her anymore.

Anthro doesn't seem hard... it seems like a lot of work and thinking and shit. I think I might hate it. This may have been a very bad decision at this point in my life. I don't want to go to school. :P

And I'm freaking out 'cause I can't find the power poitns... which everyone else had... what the hell. Whatever. ARGH. I could email my teacher, but I don't want to.

I'm just having a very bad night. And I think tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life.

I'm so pissed off. And I'm mad that ... I don't know. that Jordan's phone isn't working like it's supposed to. YOu know, where it lets him answer and goes through and stuff. Whatever. I hate that fucking fido messaging centre.

I'm tired.

AHhhhhhhhh... could you call me a wahmbulance, please?

I'm quite impressed with Jack Johnson's version of Imagine. I guess it's kind of a hard song to wreck too... although I'm sure Avril did, but i'm too scared to listen to it. :P

Anyway...

I have my first ever "university" class tonight. Well... it is a university class, so maybe I shouldn't have put those quotey things there... I mean... it's not like I haven't taken any post-secondary... not that there's something wrong with not taking any... I just... it's been over a year since i did... and ... I dunno, I'm just nervous. Been a while since I sat in a room with other people who didn't already know everything. :P

I guess?

I'm terrified. I hope they don't make me talk or anything. that'd be so freakin dumb... ask you how your summer was or something... like... that's what youdo in high school. I keep thinking it's going to be different. But I went there yesterday to get my student card and everyone still looked like the jerks i went to high school with. :P

Oh well. I don't have to talk to them. Unless of course there's a group project in one of my three classes... but Mandy's in bio with me, so obviously i'm partnering with her cuz she's, you know, my friend. And I know her. And know she's kinda good at that kind of crap. :P

Anyway...........

Yeah, nervous. And then I get to leave work tomorrow morning at 1030 for class at 1130... and then I get to go back to work! Yes! :P Thursdays and Tuesdays are going to suck so much. Oh well. That class is in a huge auditorium, so maybe it won't be that bad. Unless there's a lot of kids... which I'm going to assume there will be. Sigh.

Nervous. Kind of. But wow, this song is so good.

I like it a lot.

I'm going to go find some paper and a clip board. Amy suggested that technique, cuz binders ain't cool... I think i'll just kinda take my laptop too, but I dunno. it's already in my backpack... I'm driving to school this evening, cuz I don't think it'll last too long...

Wah.