So. Hm. I was talking to mandy on msn... and... I told her Shawna's birthday is on thursday and I dunno what I'm gonna do... and then I started crying. A lot. I guess it didn't totally hit me til just then that... she would be turning 20. She never turned 19. Omg. Like... how fucking sad IS THAT? She was just a kid. Ugh. Why the hell am I still here, is what I always ask when I think about it. I was sure I would die 3 weeks after her. But only cuz our birthdays were 3 weeks apart. i was all sketched out and stuff. Sorta glad I didn't... but... not. I dunno. It's still so hard to deal with.
But mandy said that if she's not working thursday we'd hang out. Go swing on the swings. Just us. Thank god. I can't cry in front of Ian. :P Not that I enjoy crying in front of her... but...
I've decided to wait until Dean Cain realizes that he loves me to date again. Hahaha. :P First I have to meet him though... which will never happen. So I guess celebacy is the answer. I'm not totally okay with that... but... he's so worth it. Omg, I'm so kidding. Haha. Well.. this whole paragraph... kidding.
But isn't he dreamy? Yes. He is.
Anyway... um... hmm.
I just remembered when my grandma died, my mom came into the living room and I was like what? Are you crying?! And she was like grandma's dead... and I was like oh... and gave her a hug. I milked that one for all it was worth. Didn't go to school the next day... my brother was pissed about that... hehe. I was in grade 8 then. Bro in grade 12. Yeah.
Whee, death. What fun, hey? Mhm. I'm gonna go watch another episode of Firefly. I love that show... so much. Kevin sorta introduced it to me... which is why I sorta love him. :P But not really... more in a friend way I think. Maybe not though... beats me. I've decided not to care anymore. Boys are just fucking stupid.
Collin added mandy to msn, so she keeps giving me the play by play... it's hilarious really. He thinks he has a shot with her or something. Um. She's basically engaged. But not. :P To Ian... yeah. Meh? I'm gonna be alone forever. Oh well. Or I should lower my standards even more... which would be truly sad. Hahahaha.
But mandy said that if she's not working thursday we'd hang out. Go swing on the swings. Just us. Thank god. I can't cry in front of Ian. :P Not that I enjoy crying in front of her... but...
I've decided to wait until Dean Cain realizes that he loves me to date again. Hahaha. :P First I have to meet him though... which will never happen. So I guess celebacy is the answer. I'm not totally okay with that... but... he's so worth it. Omg, I'm so kidding. Haha. Well.. this whole paragraph... kidding.
But isn't he dreamy? Yes. He is.
Anyway... um... hmm.
I just remembered when my grandma died, my mom came into the living room and I was like what? Are you crying?! And she was like grandma's dead... and I was like oh... and gave her a hug. I milked that one for all it was worth. Didn't go to school the next day... my brother was pissed about that... hehe. I was in grade 8 then. Bro in grade 12. Yeah.
Whee, death. What fun, hey? Mhm. I'm gonna go watch another episode of Firefly. I love that show... so much. Kevin sorta introduced it to me... which is why I sorta love him. :P But not really... more in a friend way I think. Maybe not though... beats me. I've decided not to care anymore. Boys are just fucking stupid.
Collin added mandy to msn, so she keeps giving me the play by play... it's hilarious really. He thinks he has a shot with her or something. Um. She's basically engaged. But not. :P To Ian... yeah. Meh? I'm gonna be alone forever. Oh well. Or I should lower my standards even more... which would be truly sad. Hahahaha.
posted by Katy at 9:14 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry to hear you were crying, things hit me like that as well every now and again.
How does colin know Mandy??
Dean Cain baby, he's worth the wait?
Yeah... sucks when things hit you like a ton of bricks. And they push you into a wall. Of painful spikes... or something. Ha.
Well one night mandy was over, and she was on my msn and started talking to him, and I was like no! ... or at least tell him it's you... gah. but yeah.
Hahaha. Swoon. Dean Cain... :P I told wes' sister that I liked Dean Cain and she was like WHAT? EW. And I was like *gasp*... he was superman though! Ahh... :P Nah, I'll find someone a little younger I think... meh.
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