Oh, ranty.

I dunno. I'm a little nervous for coffee tomorrow, but I think I'm just... I dunno.

I talked to him tonight, and I was gonna be like well wth, why don't we just meet now... he actually brought that up, that we coulda just met tonight... meh. I prefer darkness, so I almost agreed... bah :P Anyway... I told him I'd most likely be sitting in a corner because corners are cool. And he comes back at me with a corners rule!... and in my head I was like... I think we'll get along just fine.

It's true though. I like being tucked away... I dunno. I'm weird like that. At school I picked the crappiest computer in the corner... also it was green.. so I was like ooo, pretty green. Ha. :P

And not to get ahead of myself or anything... but I don't know if I even want a relationship. I mean. I have a lot of issues... A LOT. Like how I can't swallow pills, and how I think drinking the tiniest bit of soap will somehow kill me... let's put it this way... I'm paranoid. It's fun.

And like... I think he might be looking for something... real. So I'm probably going to try to be as off-putting as I can. Ha. Won't be too hard. Meh...

And he was like "I have dark rimmed glasses and red streaks in my hair". And I was like... okay... hopefully we'll be able to figure who each other ... are/is. Ew grammar. And he was all LOL! And I was like ah... so... uh... I dunno. It'll be fine. I'll just go early-ish sorta, pick my own table, hopefully in a corner. And bring my notebook... to doodle in. Or a book... no I'll bring my bag. Yeah. Bags are good. Maybe I'll walk. Ooo, if it's nice out yeah. Like not too hot. cuz it's sorta close to my house. It's like right across from the bk I used to work at... I never used to walk to work though... mainly cuz I hated changing there, and... like... those uniforms are the goddamn ugliest things ever. Seriously. They were man pants... not cool. So they look so wrong... yeah. I'll probably drive.

I told wes I'm going to coffee, and he was all ooooo... yeah. Blah. That's why I shouldn't talk to people, because I get the urge to tell them stupid things, like what's going on. Meh.

Plus he's 22. but I'm almost 20. I think it's almost time to grow up... sort of. Or experience all the things that other grown ups do... yeah. I've lead a sheltered life.

I'm a good girl.

I've never really had an official boyfriend... it's been nice. :P Most of the time. Aside from the fact that I'm the only one of my friends who does not have anyone... so there's like... a bit of pressure there... it's dumb. But like... I hate my mother questioning me, so I don't do anything. If I lived on my own, I think I'd be a little crazier... and dumber.

I'll write about the thing tomorrow. Oh god. I feel almost as if I'm going for some kind of interview... I might throw up.

But... I've known Kevin for almost a year now. Isn't that crazy? Well... we started talking in like... man, i think it might have been July sometime of last year. Yeah it was. Cuz I went to my family reunion the long weekend in August, and had to check my email in the bus depot, cuz omg, he might have emailed me. Ha. And he did. :P He used to be such a good little emailer... what happened... bah.