I lied. We're apparently not fine.

I phoned him and he was all snappy with me. Probably getting me back for yesterday, but I didn't stick around to ask what the fuck his problem was.

And I just spent half an hour crying in my room... not only because of him... once I start crying I just can't stop and it always goes back to Shawna. Always. I'm phoning Val tonight, cuz I've been putting it off, and apparently I'm not going anywhere. So... but honestly. He's twenty-fuckin-five. Don't be such a bitch, y'know? Christ. :P

She's been dead almost 2 years now. It's just... crazy. I hate it.

I was crying so hard I almost threw up. I wanted to... that's sick, I know.

But really. Why can't he just... I dunno. Accept my abuse towards him? :P I paid for it.

Hahahaha. I'm totally joking.

I still remember when Shawna died... the phone call I had with val. I remember almost every word. And then I remember when my heart broke a couple days later after it sank in. That's how it feels now.

Work is also frustrating me, cuz I don't know when I work next. My boss didn't phone. And when I tried to phone, no one answered. That's what I phoned Jordan to tell him. And he's like well you should have phoned earlier. And I was like bite me (kind of jokingly) and he was like... that's why I don't want to talk about it, because I think you're wrong. And I was like... all right then... I guess i"m just gonna go... and he's like fine. And I'm like bye. And he just hung up. Really harshly.

Seriously, I can't take much more of this. And he talks so fucking loud all the time. It's like, I'm not goddamn deaf, just talk quieter, christ. UGH. Heh...

I feel a bit better. I guess. My head kind of hurts.