Hmm. I picked the most inopportune moment to skip out on 90210. Scott shot himself in the stomach... accidentally? Dang. Anyway... so by the end of the show, I was tearing up... and then I looked over at the picture of Shawna, and... well... cried. I haven't cried about that in a while. I cannot believe it's almost been a year and a half. It will be in August. 24th. That is just fucking nuts, okay? So... yeah. Dude, I'm gonna start crying again... heh. Sigh. I just don't know what to do anymore... I'm happy I have so many people who want to see me though, so I can keep my mind on that. :P

But it just... still feels so unreal. Like she... I don't know. I really don't know.

Feels earlier than 5. Hm.

I was thinking today how that now I have Illustrator... for 28 more days... haha... damn 30 day trials... that I don't need friends... or boys crowding up on my plate. But I love my friends. And blogger. Haha. Oh, what a loser I am. It's great. Really.

I still can't believe he wants to go for coffee again. ... there's no way in hell I'm that charming, mkay? Seriously. Although... well... haha. I have no idea. Maybe he's desperate? ;) Bah. But who am I kidding? It's totally my turn to be happy. I hope. :P Oh, goodness. Look at me go on... geez. shut up. k. done.