I know, my problems are meager... but whatever.
Now I know how some people feel trapped in life and the only way they can get out is killing themselves.
I feel trapped. Ish. I have NO IDEA what to do about New Zealand. I don't know if I want to even go anymore. And I have NO IDEA how to tell amy...
I hate looking for a job. Which is why I'm procrastinating with it so much. Like... a lot. It's not good. At all.
I just want out. I just want to lay down and be by myself for the next 30 years. Until I die. Yeah, that's right, I don't rea... wait, then I'll be 50. Ew. I didn't wanna live past 30. But I don't know anymore. Now that someone loves me. It's weird.
And I don't know if I like it.
I'm getting scared again. I remember when I went all crazy on coffee guy dave cuz I thought I was getting too attached. I hadn't even kissed him... and you know what I realized? Jordan looks a LOT like him. It's... kinda scary. Sometimes.
I really do hate myself sometimes. I'm so fat right now... I hate pms. And I hate that when my period starts tomorrow (maybe) it'll hurt like hell cuz I weigh too much. Ugh. And there's no children's tylenol left. :( I am so pathetic, and I hate that too. I hate a lot of things.
Wesley says I need a job so I have something to hate. But I already hate lots of things... but he's right. I need to get that hatred focused. :P Ugh. Yeah. Bad moods suck.
I feel trapped. Ish. I have NO IDEA what to do about New Zealand. I don't know if I want to even go anymore. And I have NO IDEA how to tell amy...
I hate looking for a job. Which is why I'm procrastinating with it so much. Like... a lot. It's not good. At all.
I just want out. I just want to lay down and be by myself for the next 30 years. Until I die. Yeah, that's right, I don't rea... wait, then I'll be 50. Ew. I didn't wanna live past 30. But I don't know anymore. Now that someone loves me. It's weird.
And I don't know if I like it.
I'm getting scared again. I remember when I went all crazy on coffee guy dave cuz I thought I was getting too attached. I hadn't even kissed him... and you know what I realized? Jordan looks a LOT like him. It's... kinda scary. Sometimes.
I really do hate myself sometimes. I'm so fat right now... I hate pms. And I hate that when my period starts tomorrow (maybe) it'll hurt like hell cuz I weigh too much. Ugh. And there's no children's tylenol left. :( I am so pathetic, and I hate that too. I hate a lot of things.
Wesley says I need a job so I have something to hate. But I already hate lots of things... but he's right. I need to get that hatred focused. :P Ugh. Yeah. Bad moods suck.
posted by Katy at 3:07 PM
2 Comments:
I'm going through the blues myself, but do not allow yourself to push him away!!
Jobs suck, but send ur resumes into jobs u really want!!
I know... I'm trying not to.
They do suck, and yeah. My mom's gettin' pissed cuz I haven't done anything about my situation yet. :P Tomorrow, I swear! I'll apply! I'll apply! Ah! :P
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