I don't know.

Maybe he doesn't really like her. Maybe he'd just rather have her than me. But she has a boyfriend... why she needs to flirt with the one I'm "infatuated" with... I don't know. hahaha. I'm so fucking pathetic though. Seriously. Maybe make herself feel better... whatever.

I so don't care anymore. I'm over it. I just... can't be around both of them at the same time anymore.

I still remember at bk... when tony gave me a float... and he was like... here you go... like handing it to me like a little boy or something. It was so cute. Heh.

But who am I kidding? I guess I just need to become some kind of selfish bitch in order to get people to like me.

But I'm way too responsible for that. I really wanted to die last night... but knew I had to pick my mom up from the airport. And I had to take care of Casey until she got back. So like... yeah. I don't like my mom to worry about me. I respect her too much to do that, I guess. I've snuck around a few times... but I just... can't do that anymore. Of course though, I'm not going to tell her that I didn't go to school today.

I drank a beer really fast last night, and then threw up. Half an hour later. Life is really just... being the hugest bitch. I was sad, because of the night's events, and I really needed a drink... so I had one. Cuz no one gave one to me. so whatever. I know what I want. When it doesn't involve other people... so I can just go get it. Yeah. I dunno what I'm saying. All I know, is that my head is really screwed up, and I'd like my mom here to anchor it. Keep me in line. :P Sigh. I miss a lot of people. But I want to cut them out again, cuz all people tend to do is hurt me. WHEE.